Xibalba and La Muerte Short Stories

Being Mortal

(After a long time of thinking and browsing the dozens and dozens of fanart out there, I managed to create another story. Huzzah!)

"For the love of the realms I hate mortals!" La Muerte sighed, setting down her afternoon book and glancing at her fuming husband. Xibalba, for some reason in particular, had been on a rampage of recent, scowling and yelling constantly about mortals. Any other day she would have accepted he was just in a foul mood. But right now, she didn't really feel like listening to him complain with a very good reason.

"Why Xibalba? What do you have against mortals?" she inquired coolly, watching him pace her chambers. He threw a glare at her.

"They are the worst, truly the worst, they smell, they are so very stupid, they can't help but pick fights everywhere they go. It's pathetic!" He cried, crossing his arms as he continued his parade around her room. La Muerte rubbed her temple.

"You only say that because you are a god. You have little sympathy for those with little power. Maybe if you spent more time with mortals you wouldn't be so terribly hateful of them." He gave a scoff.

"Mi amor the day I actually have sympathy for mortals is the day you and I switch lands. And the both of us know for a fact that isn't going to happen." La Muerte twirled a lock of raven hair through her pale fingers.

"Perhaps if you were mortal you would understand their predicament. They cannot snap their fingers and have what they please like you and me Balby, you need to show a little compassion." He sneered, eyes glowing ruby red.

"I doubt you would last very long as a mortal mi amor." She raised an eyebrow, now a little riled.

"Oh? And why is that?" He chuckled, wings of ebony encircling his bony frame.

"Well I have to say you have too big of a heart. You'd give everything you had away and be left with nothing my sweet sugar skull! Besides, you are rather temperamental, if you know what I mean." The goddess narrowed her eyes, getting up.

"You wouldn't last a day as a mortal! You are much too spoiled and lazy; I dare say you would die of thirst before you get up off your sorry behind and get a drink." He scowled at her angrily.

"Well then, I do believe we have a bet. Who can last the longest as a mortal." La Muerte smirked.

"Indeed we do. If I win, you must be more compassionate of mortals, for the rest of eternity and will stop complaining about them!" Xibalba curled his lip, teeth sharp.

"Well if I win, you will admit I was right and, and, you will have the mortals build a shine for me the next day of the dead instead of you. The day of the dead will belong to me alone for the next decade." La Muerte's eyes widened in shock.

"I cannot agree to such a large winning Xibalba! The day of the dead is sacred." She protested. He smirked slyly at her.

"Well, well, is someone making excuses? I guess you aren't confident you'll last very long as a mortal." He said airily, pretending to no longer care. The goddess sighed, she had her pride to defend, besides, she could last ten times longer than Xibalba! She loved mortals, this would probably be easy.

"Fine Xibalba you have your wager. No magic whatsoever in a mortal form. Got it?" He grinned, extending a hand which she took daintily.

"The wager is set my sweet sugar skull. May the best immortal win."

The wager was this, each were given 100 dollars in the mortal currency and were placed in the same place, a city. They found themselves outside a department store, completely human in appearance. Xibalba and La Muerte gasped, one in disgust and the other in delight.