What's Your Sign? -Complete-

Chapter Four

Cas was momentarily in shock as he tried to grasp what was happening. 'How did it lead up to this?' He thought as he could still feel Dean's lips on his. They were soft and inviting, so Castiel gave in. 'Oh fuck it,' he thought once more. He kissed back, his lips moving at the same slow pace as the other man's. Cas was lost in the beautifulness of the lip lock that he never did notice Dean pulling him onto his lap. He was careful about Cas' hurt leg though. Dean ran a hand through Cas' hair and pulled at it. It made Cas moan, giving Dean the advantage to stick his tongue into the younger man's mouth.

They swapped spit for what seemed like ages but turned out to be only two minutes when they pulled away, a snail trail forming between them. Their hearts were racing because they had both been dreaming about this but never got the chance until two minutes ago.

Castiel subconsciously bit his lip and looked Dean in the eyes when they parted. He was still pulled into Dean's lap when he finally fully realized what they had just done. Cas was shocked still, but he was not going to run off or apologize for liking it as he has seen women do in the movies. He did not regret it one bit.

"Uh- C-Cas. I'm s-." Castiel cut Dean off from his unneeded apology with a hug. Dean was taken back a bit, but inevitably wrapped his arms around Cas. He breathed in the younger man's aroma and felt his eyes loll back. It was like, for a moment, that neither of them felt pain from the past or had any responsibilities. They were happy for that moment.

As the pulled away from the heartwarming embrace, Cas felt the sharp pain of his leg starting to engulf his mind once more. It was there to tell him that it was time to take his medication. Cas let out a pained grunt and grasped his leg. Dean noticed this and got up to go find Cas' meds.

----

Dean had ended up leaving Cas' apartment around five o'clock to pick up some food for the two. Castiel was left staring off into space as he waited for Dean to return.

He was confused. Were he and Dean a thing? How he would love it if they were a couple, but he did not want to make false assumptions. Cas swore that he could still feel Dean's lips on his own.

----

When the thirty minute mark rolled by, Cas started to get worried. Dean was only going down the street to pick up a few things for a soup.

Castiel pulled himself off the couch and grabbed his crutches, walking over to the kitchen counter where his phone was. As he started to dial Dean's number, he heard the knob turning.

He quickly turned his head around to see Dean with two large bags.

"You only needed to get beans and corn, Dean. What is all of this?" Castiel asked, hobbling over to Dean.

As he got closer to him, he could smell it.

"You've been drinking," Cas whispered. He could feel the tears welling up in his eyes. What was he expecting? People do not just change.

"Ca-Cas, I-," Dean was cut off by Castiel pushing past him and racing to his bedroom, locking himself in.

Dean did not know what to do. What to say. He was ashamed of his actions.

While Dean was driving to the store an idiot pulled out in front of him, causing him to abruptly stop the car and honk the horn. When the car was being stopped, a photograph flew out from under the seat.

When he parked at the store, he leaned over and picked the photo up. It was a christmas photo of him, his mom, dad, and brother. This was when Dean was only sixteen. It sent him into a relapse.

Castiel was on his bed. He was not crying. There was no reason to. Dean was not going to change and Cas knew that he needed to accept that.

With a blank face, he looked over at Dean's stuff that was set up around his room. He noticed a leathery book on the bedside table with a pen on top. Cas extended his arm and grasped the book, bringing it closer to him and slowing opening it.

The first page read: "November 5th, 2008

My therapist thinks that writing in this stupid thing will help. Whatever. Mom died two days ago. That's all I have to say."

Cas knitted his eyebrows as he flipped the pages.

"January 9th, 2010

Dad's gone. He hung himself."

"October 30th, 2010

Sam blames me.."

"November 2nd, 2010

He's gone too!"

Castiel sighed as he could see the spots on the page where tears dried on the paper.

"June 23rd, 2012

I just found this stupid thing. I guess it isn't that stupid after all. Maybe you'll come in handy one day."

"Not one for sharing your feelings, are you Dean?" Cas whispered as he flipped pages.

"Juli 12th, 2016

I jus saw th must amzing peron evr. He hud this blue I's thut I culd git lost n. Hus heir was broun nd he hud dis fac that wus jus amazin. I will tlak tu him 1 dey."

"God, how drunk were you? That's sweet though."

"July 14th, 2016

I sobered up for this guy. I know I can do this. I just know I can. He doesn't known it yet, but I am falling head over heels for him. He is a bartender the the bar I frequent. His name is Cas. He is laid up with a bad cut in his leg. It was my fault, so I am going to see him. I need to apologize."

Castiel smiled at the note. It almost made him forget about the small drinking earlier.

"July 15th, 2016

I don't know what to do."

"July 17th, 2016

I'm going to make a move? I'm going to screw this up.."

That was the last entry. Cas laid the book down again but not before he wrote "you did not screw up," under the last entry, signing and dating it.

That's when he heard slight knocks on the door. It was obviously Dean.

"Come in, Dean." Cas said, putting his hands on the bed.

The door slowly opened to reveal a very sad man. It was notable that he was not happy about his own actions.

"Cas, I'm sorry," Dean whispered," for everything."

"Don't be," Castiel half-heartedly smiled.