let bartlet be bartlet / i promise... & playing with lighters

an open letter to my girl

fifteen years old with a worn down necklace on
and a hoodie that shouldn't belong
on my body, it seems
that people don't think you're coping
when you still wear your ex girlfriend's clothes

i took my old phone out of the box i've been hiding it in
and took my emotions from my body
locked 'em up in the box
before staring at the home screen
a picture of us the night before homecoming

they wouldn't let you in
you told me to go alone
"it's just not my thing,
i'd rather stay home"
but you left my house angry
and i started pacing and maybe
i knew then

you stopped saying 'i love you' sometime in mid-november
i did too, but i let it slip out in december
cause i was lonely with my stupid friends
i love them, though,
maybe i was talking about them
i see you still once a month or so
you say you're happier now than you've ever been before
you've got a genuine smile that's so damn ugly
so i put on a fake one, and it's pretty enough for you believe

you called me up one night
guess who's got a boyfriend
"we're going out tonight.
i think he's my best friend."

"jesse, i swear he's the best thing to ever happen to me"
well, if you gave him that title
what does that make me?

they wouldn't let you in
you told me to go alone
"it's just not my thing,
i'd rather stay home"
but you left my house angry
and i just let you leave

my friends said you were bad for me
and i'll always believe them
you were the personification of swimming pool
and i was the kid who fell in
but you smiled for real,
it was so fucking ugly
but when you used to smile at me
you were so damn pretty

you let your hair grow out
but you still leave the lights on
i still sleep in your clothes
don't judge me
i give a grin my photographer would chastise
i close the door to my truck
"you let her ruin your whole night"