Katherine's Journal · Erick Brian Colón

Entry Three

March 16th, 2016

Erick,

I couldn't believe it.

Your name was scribbled next to mine for the new seating chart. I had stopped in my tracks as I realized you were going to be so close to me, closer than ever before. How could Ms. Green do this to me? I knew she had no idea I was crushing so damn hard on you, but come on; what the hell?

Ms. Green had moved you up to the front of the class precisely next to me. The front was where I usually sat facing Ms. Green's desk. You had been doing a very shitty job in class lately so I guessed the teacher wanted to keep a closer eye on you. Out of the two other desks in the front, she chose to sit you next to me and for what? Maybe she thought I'd be a good role model? Maybe she thought that if you attempted to speak to me I wouldn't even respond back because I was especially quiet and so anti-social in her class?

"Whoa, ain't that a coincidence?" Toby said, keeping her eyes glued to the board where the seating chart was being projected from.

"Tell me about it." I sat my book bag down in my original seat. I was the only one who didn't get moved.

"It's fate." Toby winked, nudging my shoulder. I simply rolled my eyes in response.

I looked up at the digital clock on the wall, Toby following my gaze. She realized she was going to be late for her own class so she finally left me at my desk by myself until you walked in. It took a moment for you to realize that the whole class, but me, had a new seat. You scanned the board looking for your name and then you suddenly stopped. I looked away, digging into my bag for supplies so it looked like I was busy and didn't notice you were staring in my direction.

I could hear you moving closer, every step and strut you made. You let your backpack drop to the floor and yanked the chair from under the desk next to my seat. It almost felt like you didn't even acknowledge my presence. While you were all cool and calm, I was burning and sweating. Literally, my palms became moist and to have made matters worse I was jacked up on some black coffee I had that morning.

Throughout the whole class, you kept to yourself and I did the same.

When you got up during the lecture, Ms. Green told you to wait until she was done talking to leave for the restroom. You then made a face and sighed heavily because of Ms. Green's orders. You didn't hide your lack of patience or annoyance with the middle-aged teacher. Lately, she became so hesitant with letting you leave the classroom because she figured you ditched half the class. You sometimes would even snap at her back, argue with Ms. Green in front of the whole class loud and clear. In the end, you would make her look like an idiot. Sassing back the fifty-year-old lady who had already seen so much in her long life; her grey hairs, slouched posture, baggy and wrinkling eyes gave it away.

You came back and sat down, letting a groan escape from your lips. Ms. Green made eye contact with me and made a face that read something like, 'Show him what a good student is like.' But that wasn't even my responsibility in the first place!

Ms. Green was complicated and no one could fully understand her at times which had earned her a few back-talking students. It's no surprise why you would act like a huge dick to her. She made you so frustrated at times, and I with the whole class, only knew that because you wouldn't try to hide it.

Ms. Green continued with the lecture that didn't end until the very end of the period. I snuck a few peaks at you from time to time, trying to act as if I was watching the clock instead.

Your jaw had clenched and your eyes almost bulged out of their sockets. When the bell rang for sixth period, you were the first one to escape Ms. Green's wrath. As usual, I was the last to leave the classroom since I always took my sweet time packing up to avoid Chemistry for as long as I could.

Halfway out the door, the English teacher called out my name.

"Katherine, can I talk to you for just a second?"

"Uh, yeah sure." I walked back into the classroom, some of her kids from sixth period taking their seats before me.

"Does Erick make you uncomfortable?" She said as she removed her glasses and leaned back on her desk, gently wiping her specs with the end of her blouse.

Why yes, he certainly does, Ms. Green! Is it that obvious?

"No, not really," I said as I brushed back a stray hair out of my face, clutching my binder closer to my chest.

"I mean I know he can get off track with his work sometimes but I don't really mind him." I lied, masking my true feelings.

You did make me uncomfortable but at the same time, it was so nice having you that close to me, seeming like that's the closest we'll ever get. Why were my feelings towards you so complicated?

"I moved him up to the front so he could actually pay attention for once! He'll never learn with his kind of behavior if I don't do something about it," she crossed her arms, looking at me as if she needed approval that she was indeed correct. I only nodded back, cracking an awkward smile.

"I hope you didn't mind that I kept you in the same spot. You're just a fantastic example of what a student should look like." Ms. Green smiled, standing up straight and lightly patting me on the shoulder. "Maybe, just maybe, something good from you will rub off on him." She said, still smiling but soon enough walking off to answer a student's question.

I'm glad you see something good in me, Ms. Green. I don't think Erick could ever see anything in me.

I already felt anxious about having a class with you but now that we're table partners I don't understand how I'll manage to survive in this class every day without feeling like my heart is going to explode out of my chest.

I can only hope that everything will be okay.

Sincerely, Katherine