Katherine's Journal · Erick Brian Colón

Entry Nine

April 7th, 2016

Hey Erick,

I knew that it would eventually happen and I'm honestly surprised that it took so long for it to occur since we've been sitting next to each other in English class for a few weeks now. Today as table partners we were paired up to read a packet of poems and then answer questions regarding the material.

If you yourself couldn't tell that not only was I hesitant to even turn to look at you but that I was also still bothered from that epic "promposal" you had given me on behalf of your "bro" Johann then I'd assume you were completely blind.

But to my luck, it seemed like you were actually well-aware of the situation.

"So..." You started, pausing and letting out a breath. From the corner of my eye, I could tell you had already turned your whole body to look at me.

I tucked my lips into my mouth, nervously biting bits of dry skin off them with my front teeth. I fumbled with the packet beneath me, my fingers bending the corners of a Frank O'Hara poem.

I didn't know how else to respond at that moment so I resorted to just smile very awkwardly, without wanting to. It was inevitable. I felt like I must have been giving you one of those weird "white people smiles". You know like the ones that everybody seems to make memes out of?

Hesitantly I shifted in my seat to look at you as well, my eyes finding yours. "So..." I mimic you as I was lost for words. I reverted back to fumbling with the thick packet of poems.

You chuckled, a soft grin appearing on your face. "Before we get started," your hand reached for the extra packet in the middle of our table and as you got a hold of it you rolled it up in your hands. "Do you wanna get out of here?" You said, your Cuban accent sounding a bit more prominent up close.

Naturally, my eyebrows scrunched in confusion. "Um, where would we go?"

With the rolled up packet in your hand, you pointed over to the tables just outside of the classroom where a bunch of our classmates had already taken some seats. I felt dumb for a split second. I guess I hadn't heard Ms. Green earlier when she gave us all permission to go work out in the student common area.

"Oh, yeah sure... duh." I shook my head, feeling some heat rise in my cheeks.

You got up first and I followed your lead, heading out to the semi-quiet student lounge. You decided to make a beeline for the empty couches. You were my partner so I didn't object. Really there wouldn't have been much of a point to do so since most of the tables were already full of other students.

I plopped down on one side of the sofa, crossing my legs to use as support to hold the packet up in front of me. You got comfortable on the opposite end, even resting your legs on the ottoman.

There was a brief awkward silence between us so I flipped through the many pages of poems until you broke the stillness. "I wanna say sorry for what I said to you the other day," you said suddenly, grabbing my full attention. "I felt bad after you walked away. You seemed kinda annoyed afterward. I swear I didn't mean to upset you. I was just trying to do my boy a favor, you know?"

I closed the packet in my lap, nodding my head. "It's okay I guess." I brushed a few strands of hair out of my face. "Uhm, and I'm sorry too if I seemed kind of rude when I walked away. Honestly, it was a bit awkward."

I looked away, feeling slightly embarrassed. I realized at that moment that I blew the whole situation out of proportion.

"Hey, no harm done," you said, almost as if you were reassuring me. "But how was it awkward?" Your eyes squinted, eyebrows furrowed together.