Seams || d.h.

Grey Clouds

"Everything was grey, his hair, his smoke, his dreams
And now he's so devoid of color he don't know what it means"

The memory still haunts the back of my mind, every time I think of you.

It was a cloudy day in London, which was really weird, since the rest of the month was sunny, but that Friday seemed to be the exception. Looking back, I should have realized something was happening that day.

My routine was almost the same as any other weekday: Wake up at 7, get to work at 8:30, going to lunch at 2pm. My job wasn't the most exciting thing in the world, but I was okay with it. I loved my routine, and I didn't like making changes to it.

I didn't feel like driving, so I decided to go to my favorite restaurant, which was a  five minute walk from work. It was a little vegan place, but it was really cozy.

I sat on my usual spot, by the window. My head was full of thoughts, the grey sky made me nostalgic. I didn't mind the feeling though, I was used to it.

I was about to ask for the bill when it happened.

You came in. Not just in the restaurant, but in my life.

You weren't alone though, you were with other three people.

One of them happened to know me.

-Oh my God, is that you? I haven't seen you in forever.

We greeted. We weren't that close, but we had classes in college together. She then proceeded to introduce me to her friends. The blonde haired girl, who had pink streaks on her hair and green eyes. The black haired guy who had some big blue eyes that looked like they could absorb you at any moment.

And then there was you, the tall brunette with warm chocolate brown eyes and two dimples, which showed after you smiled at me.
-Nice to meet you.
-Nice to meet you too.

She invited me to join you at lunch. I was hesitant at first, after all I just finished eating, but decided it would be good to catch up with her, so I ordered a tea.

We talked about how I ended up in London for work, and how she became famous over the Internet. Turns out, you met her through YouTube, and so did the rest of your company. All of you were so kind during the meal, talking about your jobs, and asking me questions.

Although I considered my job description was too boring compared to your careers, you seemed amused the whole time, listening to every single word I spoke, while making eye contact with me the whole time.

And those eyes, God, I wish I would have known how much time I would spend admiring them after that day.

After paying the bill, it was time to go. We said our goodbyes and you told me I could go with the four of you to take a walk around the city, and just hang out. I politely declined, I had to get to work.
I proceeded to go my way, when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

- Hey, I'm sorry, but would you mind giving me your number?

Sometimes I wish I had known what agreeing to that would involve. Sometimes I wish I could have known what sacrifices all of this would take. I wish I had known that love isn't a fairy tale after all.

But mostly, sometimes I wish I could have said no.

Maybe we could have never seen each other again. Maybe we could have bumped to each other at one of her parties, and maybe we could have been great friends. Maybe you would have just turned into a far away memory.

Maybe if I've said no, we wouldn't be like this. At all.