Unlawful Love (BOYXBOY) (mpreg)

|ONE| Insecurities

-Parker- {rewrite}

What's the point of life? Ya know, I used to live by this one quote. "Until you cross the bridge of your insecurities, you can begin to explore your possibilities." It always made me think that one day I would cross that bridge, and wouldn't have to explore the possibilities anymore. And, that I wouldn't be so insecure about myself and hate my self as much as I do now.

I honestly can't even answer that question. I believe that my life isn't even important. Where do I start?

Well, my dad is an abusive drunk. I was about 13 when he first hit me. It all started when my mom died in a car crash we were in. The other driver had been drunk and hit us head on and she died on impact.

When she died my dad started drinking his life away. He's basically drowning in liquor as we speak. I also had an older brother who died in the war. I looked up to him a lot so it took a toll on me when he died. He was shot in the chest and died in the middle of surgery. My whole family is almost dead, now my dad is gonna kill himself by drinking so much.

I on the other hand am just a depressed, suicidal teen. I've always wondered why people wanted to hurt themselves or cause harm to their body but now I understand them. I understand now because I am one of them. But, I have a plan and I am going to stick to it.

I have decided to end it all. The pain, the abuse, the misery. When my mom died my dad and I moved, "for a fresh start" he said. Then, he couldn't take it anymore and started drinking. He started hitting me all the time and caused me so much emotional pain that I wanted to kill myself. We moved by the railroad track and I had always loved it. That was my plan. I've always loved watching the train pass so I decided to end it there.

Now, another thing is that I'm gay. I came out the day before my mom died believe it or not. My dad was against it of course but my mom supported me with it. I think that's another reason my dad beats me too because he's always calling me things like "faggot" and an "abomination".

The people at my school definitely didn't like the idea of me being gay either. Schools hard too but I've gotten through it. I never know if I'm gonna go to school the next day because of the bruises dad gives me. If their bad I usually just walk around until 3:00p.m.

Tomorrow is my last day back at school. I just need to finish this week. I agreed to myself that If anything happened that gave me a reason to stay I would. It is very unlikely but I'm gonna do it anyways. I lay awake In bed thinking about tomorrow. My door is locked and I have things in front of it so dad can't get in. Knowing he can't come in I let sleep take over.

-next morning-

The alarm sounds off and I slowly open my eyes groaning. I do not want to get up but I remembered that it was the day so I swing my legs over the bed and go to my closet to pick out my clothes.

I decide to go with my favorite outfit since today is gonna be my death day. My favorite pair of white, ripped, skinny jeans, and my tighter light blue shirt.

Finally getting the courage to go I move the things from the front of the door and slowly crack it and peak out. My dad must be sleeping because I don't hear anything so I hurry and walk down stairs. When I hear his bedroom door open I grab my backpack and hurriedly run out of the house.

Knowing I'm finally safe from him I continue walking towards school. For the first time I look around and appreciate the little things. The birds flying around, the wind whistling, the cars peacefully passing by. If this is my last day I want to appreciate it.

Walking down a new path to school I recognize the truck. I inwardly scream and turn my head trying to hide a little while I continue on. But, they notice me anyways.

"Hey faggot, why don't you just kill yourself already." He says laughing with his friends and passing by.

Connor, he hates me with everything he has. He's one of the popular guys that taunts me In school. I had come out when I had a friend at the school then she moved and I was left alone again.

I feel the tears sting my eyes threatening to come out but I wipe them away with my sleeve. The school comes into view and I wander why I'm even here.

Of course the day isn't gonna get better so what's the point of even coming here when I know I want to die. I'm not even sure why I thought it was a good idea to come another day. I inwardly slap my self because of my own stupidity and go back home to my beloved train track.

When I get home my dad is gone so I go back through the woods and sit by the track with my hands wrapped around my knees. I finally find the amount of courage and lay down on the track looking up into the sky. It's so peaceful when you're alone really. Beautiful actually.

I hear the sound of the train getting closer so I just lay there and close my eyes tightly waiting for the moment it ends me.

Completely void of everything I feel nothing. The train gets closer and closer until I hear nothing but it and can feel the tracks vibrating so I clench my jaw and wait for the impact.

"STOP!" I hear a yell before I'm lifted and thrown from the track and all I see is black.

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Word count: 1050

Hope you all enjoy the re writes:) Comment what you think. All of the chapters will be put back up tonight.