Why have I lied? What caused me to lie about this? Attention? Oh God no, please don't tell me I'm an attention whore. I hate those. Well then why did I do it? Wow...so many unanswered questions.
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Undescribed
Do I need him? What am I feeling? How do I tell her? How will he understand? What have I done?
Sitting here, tears uncontrollably running down my face as I scroll through my phone. I can't stop thinking about him. No matter how much I try to stop, I keep going. I don't understand why this is happening. I've never done this before, I'm not like this. The girl who the guys don't take seriously. The girl who guys make as the approachable one. I have never been asked out before, and it kind of bums me out. I have all these feelings bottled up...but no one has ever asked nor bothered to listen. I don't want to ask someone, because I would become a burden on them. You would think that I would be able to count on my friends, but sometimes I feel like they don't care. Some of them think I'm being over-dramatic, but I don't know what to do anymore. I have dug myself a hole so deep, that I am scared to face the truth. What will happen the next time I open my mouth and words flow out of theoretical events.
Nothing seems real anymore, its so surreal. Whenever I'm around him now I can't think straight. Words fumble out of my mouth. All I can think of are the fantasies in my head. I struggle to diverge reality from my lies.
My phone buzzes, Alexi once again interrupting my thoughts.
