Why have I lied? What caused me to lie about this? Attention? Oh God no, please don't tell me I'm an attention whore. I hate those. Well then why did I do it? Wow...so many unanswered questions.
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Releasing
Tyler's POV
It hurts like hell, when someone makes you feel special, then suddenly leaves you hanging and you have to act like you don't care at all.
"Bye guys!"
"Bye Tyler! See you tomorrow." My friends shout behind me.
I wave to them as the car speeds off, leaving me to hear the blasting music a block away. I walk up to my patio and stare blankly across the street. I see a figure walk up to her house, knock, and go inside. Her porch light dims and her window lightens. That's right! She promised that we would talk later.
I shout through the door, informing my mom where I'm going and proceed to cross the street. My hands fumble and they smack against the door. It must've freaked her out because the light seen through the curtains no longer remains. A head pokes from the window and they reassuringly nod. The door swings open to find Sarah and Alexi standing there. Alexi scans my appearance and then Sarah's.
"Will you excuse us for just a second," Sarah turns to Alexi.
"Yeah sure. I'll be in your fridge."
Sarah rolls her eyes as her friend skips off happily.
She closes the door, and I immediately press my lips against hers. She's stunned for a moment but then kisses back. All my emotions, everything I feel, all the confusion comes pouring into a string of passion. After a few moments she pulls back. I shift my gaze and glance at her apologetically, not really meaning for the scene to play out like it did. Sarah nods her head and looks down, completely understanding look in my eyes.
"It's hard for me to control it you know..." I whisper, focusing on the wood paneling of her porch.
"Well I haven't exactly caught up my friend on what is happening here! You know, the girl that is also best friends with Mattie!"
"But—I,"
"She has no idea what this is," she gestures between the both of us. "Hell, I don't even know what it is" she shakes her head.
Sarah holds my gaze for a few seconds, then focuses onto her gripped hands. I grab one and stroke it back and forth with my thumb, loosing her fist.
"Hip hop camp, convention, hotels, fun nights, spring break, movies, now" I mutter without a breath in between.
"Why must you remind me..."
"It's just where we met and where things started to intensify."
"It wasn't intentional. Mattie really likes you."
"Yeah, but I like you!" I shout without one regret.
The door behind us flies open as Alexi stands there with her mouth full of pizza. Her slice drops on the ground as she tries to swallow.
"Oh great" Sarah's eyes look everywhere but mine.
"I'm so sorry. I had no idea she didn't know, or let alone standing an earshot away."
"No, it was going to come out eventually" She waves it off.
I avoid her stare, wanting to ask how she feels. Yes, she's told me that she can't like me because her friend does...but never told me if she has feelings. I don't know how to ask her. I mean yes, it seems like a great opportunity while it's up in the air. Yet, I don't want to put her on the spot in front of Alexi.
"Well I think I'm going to go now..." I slowly back away from the two girls staring at me.
"Bye" they both chorus.
I walk across the street, shut my door and lean against it. What the hell did I just do? I hold my head in my hands as I slide down to the floor.
