Falling For His Bully (BoyxBoy)

The Letter

Chapter 17

12:01 A.M

___________________

(Damian's P.O.V.)

For Damian

June 20th, 2013

1:43 A.M.

Page 1

Hi Damian, I miss you! We never talk anymore, and it's really bumming me out. How have you been? i've been alright....

No, no I haven't. I am a fucking wreck! I usually don't let people get to me, but I can't go it anymore, Damian. School is a hellhole, and I just keep getting dragged deeper and deeper.  People aren't nice! Why aren't they nice? I am nice to EVERYONE, but it just doens't work out for the polite victim, huh?

At this moment I am sitting alone, outside, in the rain. 

Can I just vent to you? You're not here, and I have no friends, so I only have this letter to you to vent to, and you probably won't right back, but that's okay.

I don't know....I'm sorta falling back into old habits. I told myself that I'm not that person anymore, but if I wasn't...would I have to keep reminding myself  that to get through the day?

June 27

5:30 P.M.

Page 2

Things have been getting worse Damian, I am currently in the hospital. I haven't been quite honest with you. I am a hemophiliac, and I have asthma, so those things are working against me. I am trying to stay alive, for you. 

This may seem strange, but you are my world, not in like a creepy stalker way, but in a thanks-for-letting-me-see-you-naked-so-we-would-become-best-friends, kinda way. I thank whatever's up there every day that you came in my life, because honestly, if I never met you, I would be in worst places than I am now.

I don't know, it's weird...I'm always happy when I'm around people, and sad when I'm alone. Maybe it's because I don't want anyone feeling the way I do? It's too complicated, my own brain can't understand it.

July 4st

11:15 A.M.

Page 3

I am laying in the hospital bed, dreading what is going to happen next. I know what's going to happen. The doctors and everyone else are just feeding me lies. 

I had a good life Mr. Damian Rivers, and you have played a great part in it. 

I have fulfilled my life, lived everyday like I was going to die, and I guess this is the day when the big ol' meanie Mr. Grim Creeper decided it was my time. Not everyone gets a happy ending, but, even though mine is not the happiest, I still loved ever single bit of it leading up to this moment.

Now let me confess some things that my brain has told me to do, just for the sake of entertainment.

'Join a cult/start a cult

Break into and then paint other peoples houses

Become a cabinet maker

Kill myself, so in essence, become a cabinet maker

Fight people who are much....fightier than me, like cops, so in essence, kill myself.'

Have sex with LITERALLY anybody who reminds me of that chick from Mean Girls

Move to a small town and unveil my wrath, and become King Rainbow

Set fire and then beat up Scooby-Doo.

Listen to me, rambling on...

Damian, I know this is then end. I won't get to lay my eyes on your beautifulness anymore, but, lets not focus on the bad, yeah? 

I hope you and Nick work things out, I know you two are meant to be. I have to say, I am a bit jealous of him, he gets to caress your skin when you're lonely, kiss your lips when your sad, and love you like you are the only person left. I wish I could do that.....to you.

I now know that I cannot send this to you, its going to stay crumpled up in my backpack, but nonetheless.......

I love you Damian, please stay strong. Don't lose hope, you are the perfect you, and I would hope you love yourself too. Bye bye....

~Krauss

I was in tears, the last thing I have of him. Nope. I can't sleep tonight.  

It's 12:30 A.M. and I decided to go watch some TV. Under The Dome was on, but I could hardly pay any attention. My mind was still taking in everything that Krauss had wrote. I kept the letters with me, clutching them close to my heart, trying to silence the sounds of me crying. 

I lied down and calmed myself.

                                                                                         ...

10:45 A.M.

I guess I fell asleep. When I opened my eyes Aaron was sitting on the floor by me, I moved my feet off the navy blue couch and he sat next to me.

"We are going to go get some friends, and have a tiny party, okay?" I nodded in agreement. He got off the couch and followed Zayne out to the car.

I took this time to make a cake for them, seeing as it's their birthday.Now I am no expert on baking, but it's my brothers, I have to try, I got up and turned the radio on, nothing more than a bunch of whiny pop songs. So I went and grabbed my IPod and turned on The Prophecy by Asking Alexandria. Then I began the baking process.

                                                                                           ...

After about a half hour, the cake was done. And I must say, it looks alright....If you squint your eyes....and til your head to the left. Yeah....Perfecto!

I wrote in icing "Happy Birthday Aaron and Zayne, Love Damian"

I cover the cake and then cleaned up. Five minutes later, Zayne and Aaron walked in with Owen, and Neil, Aarons best friend since fourth grade.

He was nineteen, he got held back I believe, he had a beard, and ALWAYS wore suspenders. Not today though...he looks good without them.  But all in all he was a great guy, who was amazing at poetry.

"Hey Damian!" Owen picked me up and spun me around in a hug, and I sadly smiled, though he didn't seem to notice. Neil said hi to me, avoiding the small talk.

I showed them the cake I made, then pulled out some birthday candles. They all stood, surrounding me and watching as I lit the candles. When I finished I backed up. Owen and Neil began to sing Happy Birthday and I just watched. They blew out the candles and everyone began eating.

                                                                                ...

The night had gone by quick, and before I knew it, I was back to being alone.

But at least I have my music.