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"I look and stare so deep in your eyes
I touch on you more and more every time
When you leave I'm begging you not to go
Call your name two or three times in a row
Such a funny thing for me to try to explain
How I'm feeling and my pride is the one to blame
And I still don't understand
Just how your love could do what no one else can" -Crazy In Love

--

A S H

I opened my eyes to reveal a tray of food in front of me.

That man must've left it when I was fast asleep.

I crawled to it and layed it down on the bed.

I started to eat slowly, as I started to daydream.

--

《Flashback》

"Hey mom?" I asked excitedly.

Its my birthday next week and I was looking forward to celebrate it with them and Courtney.

"Yes sweetie?" She smiled at me.

"Are we going to celebrate my birthday next week?" I asked.

My eyes were most probably beaming with excitement.

But that was gone in a matter of words that came out of my moms mouth.

Her smile dropped and she looked at dad. Dad looked at me with disappointment in his eyes.

"I'm sorry honey. Dad and I have work to do." Mom said while caressing my cheek.

I felt my cheeks heat up and tears starting to form in my eyes.

I ran to my room and lied down on my bed, crying.

To think maybe, for once, we could possibly celebrate my birthday as a family.

I was so alone. They were right. I'm a loner.

Dad opened the door and kneeled down beside the bed.

"Honey, you need to understand. It isnt easy for us either. But we need to work. For us all to live." He said.

"Okay." I simply said while nodding before burying my head further into my pillow.

The truth is, I wasnt okay. I wasnt okay with anything. It was my special day. All ruined.

《End of Flashback》

--

I shook my head trying to forget the memory.

I wasnt perfect. I was in the list of the people farthest to perfect.

I was a girls imperfections mixed in one.

When I cried, no one gave a single fxck. Only Courtney did. But what? Shes dead right?

So clearly, I was all alone.

My parents didnt even think about coming and finding me when I was long gone.

They are possibly ashamed of having a daughter like me. Mostly now that I'm a famous killer. All I ever thought was why havent they even disowned me?

Maybe they thought that if they did, their reputation will be ruined.

Now, I dont even know if theyre still alive or dead.

But let me tell you one thing, I dont care. They didnt care about me. Then neither do I.

--

H A R R Y

I went back to my room and plopped down on my bed.

More and more questions just started to flood down into my head making it hurt.

Why, what, how, who, and when.

Theyre all questions I now hope to be answered.

But sadly, I still have to wait until they are to be answered.

I sighed and sat up straight.

I looked in front of me and saw an old picture of me and my family.

I stood up and held it in my hand.

It was me, mum, dad, and Gemma.

I miss my sister so badly. I know its been years since I lost her.

I know some people wpuldve been used to it if they were in my place but, come to think about it, it feels like you have this one missing important thing in your life that makes it incomplete. For me, that would be my sister Gemma.

I put back the photo on the table and looked at myself through the mirror.

I was a boys imperfections all in one. I always felt like no one cares about me.

I shook my head and decided to get in the shower. Maybe that'll help me think and relax.

"Hey Lou! I'm gonna go shower." I told Louis.

He said 'Okay!' and proceeded to watch soccer on the tv.

I stepped inside the shower, letting the water course through me.

I then let my shoulders relax and I close my eyes.

--

《Flashback》

"Hey Gems! Catch!" I shouted as I threw the ball towards my sister.

She caught it then ran to the ring while dribbling the basketball.

She aimed for the ring and shoot it.

It went in and we both cheered. Mum did the same while sitting on the bench.

"Come here you two." She signalled us to come over to her.

We walked in her direction and sat down.

She then gave us towels and I wiped the sweat off my forehead.

After that, we stared into the sunset, very peacefully.

It may sound clichè and people say its only for couples, I definitely disagree.

Watching the sun is perfect to watch with whoever you love and care about, family or not. Love is all around. And I like to think about it like that.

《End of Flashback》

--

I miss them. I miss my mum and dad. Especially my dear sister.

ASH 》 h.s  》 #Wattys2017Where stories live. Discover now