The harder things become, the harder you push away - Part 19

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Seth lay awake on the makeshift hospital bed, surrounded by the sterile smell that lingered in the stuffy air. The doctors had been in and out of his room all afternoon, making sure he was alright and checking his vitals.

Seth wasn't in bad shape. He was hurt and undernourished, but he wasn't going to die. The doctors made him eat some crackers every two hours to help his stomach get used to eating again. They said that they would start him on full meals the next day.

Dean was still waiting to find out some news. He had been fidgeting all day, wanting to see Seth and make sure that he was okay. Towards the evening, one of Seth's doctors invited Dean into Seth's room. It felt like a weight had been lifted off of Dean's shoulders. He was finally allowed to see his friend for the first time in weeks.

When Dean entered the room, he was upset by the sight of Seth. He had bruises all over the parts of his body that were on show and he had lost a lot of weight. He looked very weak.

"Hey." Dean whispered as he looked at Seth's small frame. The doctor left the room.

"Hey." Seth replied, bluntly.

"I-I'm so sorry." Dean started to cry. Everything was just too overwhelming for him. He couldn't deal with the guilt.

"Don't cry. You've got nothing to be sorry for." Seth replied.

"It's all my fault. I should have been with you to have kept you safe. He threatened me, saying he would kill you and I didn't do anything about it. I thought you were dead." Dean sobbed. "I'm so, so sorry. If it wasn't for me, none of this would have ever happened."

"Who threatened you?" Seth asked, confused. Dean hadn't told him about the letters.

"Sami." Dean whispered causing Seth to gasp in shock.

"He was sending you letters and you didn't tell me?"

"I didn't want to worry you. I was gonna sort it out, I promise. AJ was gonna take me to the police station, but that's when we found out that you had gone missing." Dean rushed out.

"You told AJ, but you didn't tell me?" Seth had a disgusted look on his face.

"I was going to tell you first, but then you stopped talking to me because of what happened." 

"Just because I was in a strop didn't mean you had to hide things from me." This was going badly.

"I never saw you! How did you expect me to talk to you if you were never there?" Dean shouted. Seth looked like he was about to cry. "I'm sorry, I'm gonna go. You should probably rest." Dean sighed.

"Yeah." Seth mumbled, looking distraught.

"Um, Roman's gonna come visit you tomorrow. He's been worried sick about you, we all have." Dean left quite quickly. He needed some air.

Once he exited the hospital, he called AJ to ask if he could pick him up. It was getting late, AJ had finished work and Dean had no other form of transport.

AJ arrived and Dean got in the car, without speaking a word. AJ could sense the tension in Dean's posture and decided not to start a conversation. He didn't want to upset the younger man any further. 

The two men arrived at the hotel they were staying at and headed straight to bed. As AJ was about to get into his bed, Dean spoke.

"AJ?"

"Yeah?"

"C-can you sleep in my bed tonight?" Dean asked, wanting comfort.

"Sure, as long as you're okay with it." AJ didn't want to scare Dean, by being too close. Especially when he was so vulnerable.

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