Chasing Yellow

Chapter 5

I'm at a lake and I see Justin. He's in his silver car which is strange because I could swear his car was black. 'How'd I get here?' I think watching Justin in his car.

He's not alone though... I see some blond chick in his car. 'Does he have a sister?' I think to myself. I keep watching and I can't believe what happens next. They start to make out. Like full on.

Tears stream down my face. 'This has to be a dream' I think 'Just like the one he was with Liliana... Just a dream' I try to shake myself awake but it doesn't work.

I decide its time. Ironically there's a ladder beside the building. I climb to the top of the building. I scream out "JUSTIN YOU BITCH THIS IS YOUR FAULT!"

He get out of the car holding the girl. He flips me off and yells out "DO A BACKFLIP." I Jump and do a backflip for him. I will always love him.

Right before I hit the concrete I jolt awake. Its 2:30 a.m. My face is covered in tears. I grab my phone and call Justin.

"Hello?" My tired lover groans.

"I love you." I say tears falling from my eyes reliving the dream in my mind. "I love you so much and never forget that."

"What's wrong babe?" He asked concerned.

"I had the worst nightmare but I don't wanna talk about it." I say imagining hugging him really tight and never letting go.

"I'm sorry..." He says.

"Its fine. I just.. I needed to hear your voice.. I'm sorry for calling and waking you up.. I'll go..." I say

"No, its fine. I love you. I want you to come to me." He says comforting.

He stays on the phone and we have small talk until I finally fall back asleep.

I wake back up to find my phone dead. I plug it up and go to the kitchen and make me some cereal.

I turn on the TV and watch some weird cooking show.

After a couple of episode I go see if my phones charge. It's up to 76% that's enough for texting.

I turn it on and my phone lights up with a lot text.

OMG DID YOU HEAR ABOUT LILIANA???

Ethan... You should turn on the news... I'm sorry...

Hey Ethan... Its Liliana's parents... You should come over...

Ethan... I'm sorry for your loss... She was so amazing... Who would ever expect this?

Hey babe... Have you heard? I'm so so sorry..

Ethan.. Its Natasha.. I was watching the news before work and they said your name and I payed attention and I'm sorry... I'm here for you if you need someone.

What? Why's everybody texting me? What's wrong with Liliana?

I turn on the news and Liliana's picture is on there.

Today Liliana Banks local teenage girl committed suicide. Parents found her hanging off her loft bed when they came home after a date night. Her suicide note reads 'Please publicize this note, depression is a real mental illness and it can not be detected easily. Depression can make someone sad even if they look happy. Don't assume. I would like to apologize to my best friend Ethan Write... I should've talked to you but... You know... I'm sorry...' This has been an important PSA. Be aware of this mental illness and notice the signs or your child may be next.

I turn off the TV. I'm in complete and udder shock. My best friend Liliana Banks, who I told everything was depressed AND she committed suicide...

Tears start to fall from my face. At first it's a couple and then they really to start to flow. I grab my phone and text Liliana's number.

LILIANA WHY?!? WHY DIDN'T YOU TALK TO ME! I WOULD'VE BEEN THERE FOR YOU! I COULD HELP! WE COULD'VE GOT THROUGH THIS TOGETHER. I LOVE YOU.

I swear I hear her soft gentle voice whisper "I'm sorry... I love you too."

I bust out in tears and run outside. I hope on my bicycle and ride it crying.

After 20 minutes I show up at Liliana's house. I walk in the door and see the family. They embrace me. I'm taking this harder then any of the family members.

"Why aren't y'all crying!" I shout obviously distraught. "This is your family member!"

"We knew this was gonna happen..." Liliana's mother said quietly.

"What...?" I ask dumfounded.

"We knew she was extremely depressed and her antidepressants stopped working and we knee eventually it'd get bad."

"AND YOU LEFT HER ALONE!" I shout irritated by her response.

They don't respond so I storm out of the house. 'Why wouldn't she tell me she was depressed...?' I think to myself. My sadness has been replaced with a calm grief and anger.

I ride my bike around and just try to clear my mind. I know for a fact I'm not going home right now. I ride to the only person I feel like I need right now.

I arrive at my destination and I ring the doorbell. Justin opens the door and pulls me into a tight hug. I cry softly into his shoulder and he brings me in. He lays me down on his bed and carefully cuddles up to me.

"I'm so sorry.. It'll get better soon.." Justin whispers in my ear.

'I wish I believed that...' I think to myself.