Castlebay // Blake Richardson

Chapter 19

*Brenda's POV*

      I had no idea how long I'd been on the roof. I was in no hurry to get back down though. Blake had finally realised what I spent months of telling him during our relationship. He deserved better.

      If anyone in the other houses around us could see me, they were probably questioning my sanity but I was doing the same so I don't blame them. I could hear the music coming from the backyard still while I lay facing the road out the front. I thought of Megs and Levi, Lucy chasing Nate around while he would have no recollection of the events in the morning, George and Rosie wherever they were, Megan and Reece probably still sat where I'd left them, Austin being the friendly guy he is probably attempting to talk to everyone and who knows what Drew would be doing. Yet the person who dominated my thoughts most, was the person I was up here to try and forget about, Blake.

      I was snapped from my thoughts by swearing coming from the open window that led to my bedroom, "How do you do this so well Brenda for God's sake?" I heard his voice and was tempted to jump off the roof onto the front porch to avoid talking to him.

      "Don't even think about it" Blake said, looking at me as he finally made it out the window.

      "Shouldn't you be with your girlfriend?" I replied, glancing off in any direction that wasn't looking at him.

      "You and I both know that I faked that Brenda, you can't lie to me"

      "You just couldn't wait Blake, I was so close to being ready all on my own and then you hurt me again"

      Blake had moved across the roof now and was sitting beside me, not too close to provoke me into moving, but closer than he'd been in weeks. "Brenda, I need to tell you something"

      I looked at him now, my heart still skipping a beat to find his brown eyes looking back at me. He gently took my hand in his, "Promise me you'll listen and find it in your heart to understand"

      "I can try"

      "I don't have a valid excuse for kissing her, I think that's clear, but Brenda the pain that came from that, I'll never forgive myself. I promised you over and over for months that I'd never let you down and I did and I'm sorry. And I know I should've been more understanding when you asked for space, but not having you in my life after waiting for so long, it was like having the band taken from me-"

      "Don't act like I'm on the same level as the band Blake and you'll maybe be believable"

     "But you are. Reece and George know it, the fans know it, everyone sees how much I care about you, except you. Why can't you just let yourself go and realise, I'm here, right now, I'm in love with you"

      I squeezed my eyes shut to try and stop the tears, "Blake, you can't say that"

     "Why can't I?"

      "Because you deserve better" I whispered, eyes still closed to try and remain calm.

      Blake placed his fingers under my chin and turned me to face him, my eyes opening instinctively before he whispered back, "What if I don't want better? What if what I want is a crazy red-headed Irish idiot I can't live without?"

      "You shouldn't want me"

      "Why? Because you're not what the fans want? Brenda, you're beautiful and charming and look how much heart you put into everything, you're the reason we're in LA right now"

      I went to speak again before Blake cut me off, "Be honest with me Brenda, Megan said you still love me, if that's true, give me this chance"

      I stayed silent and tried to move away from him, instead he pulled me closer, both hands on my waist, "Say you don't love me and it's over Brenda, all this pain you feel"

      I felt the tears slip down my cheeks, "I still love you Blake"

      "Please, say you'll be mine again?"

      I nodded through the tears before he placed his lips on mine. When he pulled away he placed his forehead on mine, "I've missed your touch"

      I giggled and blushed a little before he realised what he said, "That was not supposed to come across like that I'm sorry" He laughed with me now.

      "Should we go in?" He asked, "They might worry about us"

      "Nah I've slept up here all night before, you can go if you want though"

      He laced his fingers between mine, "Now that I've got you back, I'm not leaving your side again" He placed his head in the crook of his neck, his breath on my skin making me squirm, "You'll be as clingy as Nate soon"

      I moved then to lay on my back and look at the sky which was now filled with stars. I heard Blake shuffle beside me before he swore again under his breath. "Blake I swear if you fall off this roof-" I laughed before I felt his arms around me again, "I'm fine"

      "Good" I whispered back.

      "What is it about you and strange places?" He asked after a few minutes silence.

      "The detachment from life, a bit of freedom, plus stars remind me of home"

      "I'm yet to see a star that shines brighter than the light in your eyes" He said.

      "You're a cheeseball you idiot" We both laughed.

      "I'm serious though, you don't even understand how much I love you"

      "Enough to write a song about me?" I teased.

      "Try a full notebook under my bed with every thought I've ever had about you"

      I shot up from my position, "Let me see!"

      He whined a little, "Tomorrow I promise, stay with me right now"

      "When do we tell the others?" I asked.

      "Worry about that tomorrow, sleep now princess" He kissed my forehead while my cheeks burned red, "You remembered what I said in Venice"

      "I haven't forgotten a minute I've ever spent with you"