Chapter 17 (Howard)

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The winter has been hard; little food, freezing weather, illness is more prevalent and other pains. The hunting parties are finding little game out there, any bounty they brought back was meager to begin with but now there's even less. There are so many deaths, not only from the corpses but from diseases, the very young and old that would have received any number of vaccines and immunizations now have to do without and some aren't surviving. Others just aren't willing to live in this world and there's been a rash of suicides. Between the cold, hunger, illness and general craziness of what the world is becoming has become incentive enough to remove one's self permanently from it.

Although most military operations have been put on hold, the patrols are still going out. Coalridge has given me a promotion, I am now a squad leader in charge of six or seven people, depending on the day or who's alive. Our duties are minimal; either being ordered out on a patrol into the snow covered hills or sent out to one of the abandoned towns to scavenge for supplies. When we are in the camp, now being named 'Tent City' after the only form of lodging available, we are on guard detail at certain key points to keep the peace or protect the store of supplies.

I've discovered that winter, for all its hardship, has one silver lining. The corpses don't fair to well in this weather. They don't die, but will become frozen stiff, almost like a cryogenic freeze or something. Those that aren't completely frozen are sluggish or just cemented to one spot unable to go anywhere. It makes it easier for us to eliminate them or avoid them. One problem replaced by another.

***

I overheard the general, General Hammon, discussing something with his staff. All transmissions with the rest of the military or the federal government has stopped. Apparently they have been since winter set in and the general has been keeping up a story that somewhere the President was still alive and operating with some remnants of the military to keep up morale.

First I was angry how he's been lying to everyone but after I thought about it I realized that it's probably for the best. Everyone is still expecting the military to come rolling over the next hill to save them. It gives them some hope and keeps them fighting to stay alive but I'm worried about what happens when the reality hits home. When they realize there's no one coming.

***

Things are getting worse. Supplies are thin, rations have been cut back again and people aren't happy. Medicine is even lower than the food stocks and there's rumor of a flu outbreak starting. More squads are being sent out to scavenge but we are forced farther out since we've picked through most of the surrounding towns. It seems most of the time the squads come up empty or with too little.

Even I'm starting to feel it. I've lost a lot of weight these past few weeks. I'm not the only one either but there just isn't enough to go around anymore.

There's a lot of free time on my hands when I'm not on duty. Sometimes I'll check in with the members of my squad, make sure there OK but there's little I could do anyway. I mostly write in this journal or even read through it to see how far I've come. I spend time with Daniel and Ashley, being the only real friends I have in Tent City.

When there's nothing else for me to do I can't help but think about my family. If it's this bad here what's the situation like further west. I'm questioning if Seattle is still standing. If the general says he's been faking the communications then is Seattle just another lie? Most of me still believes that the city is there but I just don't know how true that is.

If I was with my family would I be able to do anything for them? Sure, we'd be together but how long would that really last? Maybe Seattle has worse problems than we do here? I can't very well bring them back here, if I desert then return I'll probably be shot for abandoning my unit. If I were to leave there's no going back.

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