the waves came crashing down [under construction]

two

as our first night fell, everyone started setting up the beach table for food. the first night was always the same dinner: everything seafood. ma was always a great cook; just like papa. anne zhang was known for her great cooking and her no-nonsense and compassionate attitude. auntie carol and auntie lily always joked that ma was like the mediator between the original duo. ma was the best of both worlds, they said, the one that helped each falling apart in their friendship. before they knew it, ma had wedged herself into their lives, and they couldn't live without her. 

ma had rolled her eyes at that, calling them melodramatic. 

but it was true. i knew it. auntie lily once confided in me about the time that her and auntie carol had once nearly fell out of their long friendship, and ma was there. she was always there for the two of them, auntie lily said. "without your ma, lee, we all wouldn't be here."

that was partly true, i concluded. 

sure ma was the mediation between the kind-hearted auntie lily and the level-headed auntie carol. but auntie lily was the glue to it all, not just their friendship, but the three families, while auntie carol was the stable rock to whom we could trust. 

i eyed the three that first summer night, and i couldn't help but sigh. i wanted so badly to have a friendship like that. i always thought charlotte would be it, you know, my best friend. but charlotte was...charlotte. she always competed against the boys, and i was left at the sidelines. i thought maybe i could be the ice to her flames, but it wasn't the case. she was the middle child and the only girl in her siblings. i was the only child. she wanted someone to dot on her, and that was auntie lily. me in the other hand...i had enough attention, thank you very much.

charlotte was swimming at the pool as i set up the table for dinner. erick and jamie were playing at the pool's side, and i couldn't help but see how jamie was glancing at charlotte. i looked away, to where kyle and marcus was blowing up pool floaties. one was shaped like a pink frosted donut, while the other looked like a flamingo. i smiled at that, as i set down the forks. 

ma nudged her shoulder to my shoulder; we were nearly the same height. i knew my height will never grow past her. i should know. i stopped growing in sixth grade. "tell me how the cooking goes, okay liesel?"

"opo," i replied, immediately nodding. i know how important this was for her.

"oh, anne, don't you trust us to deliever how your cooking is?" cried auntie lily. at night, her loose white dress makes her look like galadriel from lord of the rings. but auntie lily's face looks more open and soft. 

it was auntie carol who replied, "lily, she knows that you always say that her cooking is good. her cooking is always good. but lee knows exactly what's off about her cooking, down to whether or not anne used too much thyme or whatever spice."

ma gave me a pointed look, to which auntie lily bursted out laughing. i remember all the times that both auntie carol and auntie lily would reply, "this is so great anne!" or "awmygawd" that anne would roll her eyes. "i know it's good," ma would reply in a very matter-of-fact tone, "but is there anything to you that needs working on, or seems out of place?" neither would say anything, because to them, it was all ready perfect. 

ma had always looked at me expecting more. when papa threw himself to work, work, work at the american red cross, he asked ma, his sister-in-law, to take care of me. it was a full year and a half until i would see him again. a year and a half of traveling with ma to three different states. it was just me and her against the entire world.

                                                                  ******

the window was open as we cleaned out mr. pak's room. the skies looked great that day; clouds. actual fluffy clouds that means rain.