Addict [boyxboy]

[5]

No. No. No.
This wasn't supposed to happen
I wasn't supposed to fall for it
Not again.

Why?
Why was I so desperate for affection?
Why was I so stupid?
How could I have been so stupid?

The smell of sex in the air
Shirts and pants scattered

Taunting me
Reminding me of what happened
And here I am in bed with him in exchange for
three words
Three words that when used by some people mean the entire word but when used by him meant absolutely nothing.

I looked to the other side of the bed and saw it empty all traces of his warmth long forgotten

I'm not sure why I thought this time would be different

That I would wake up nuzzled in his strong embrace, overwhelmed by his scent, rays of the morning sun casting an angelic glow onto his perfectly sculpted features...

Instead reality payed me a visit as it always does when I make the same old mistakes
but this time I decided to listen and realized that I was no better then all those men he slept with behind my back
Maybe I was even worse
Because unlike them I was foolish enough to believe that it was more that sex
Foolish enough to think that he loved me just as much as I loved him
Foolish enough to keep crawling back

I was supposed to be strong
I needed to be strong
But I was weak
Stupid
Broken
He broke me.