Unbecoming Humans

Chapter 22

I spent the rest of the day feeling worried and uncertain. I had tried over and over to shake Blake's words from my head, but our conversation from earlier continued to plague my mind. After class and dinner that evening, I decided to try a therapeutic cello session alone in a practice room. I played furiously, trying to overload my brain so that I could think of nothing but what I was doing. It worked to a point, but I couldn't shake the anxiety that tugged at the back of my mind.

I had no idea how long I had been practicing, but I was beginning to sweat from my exuberance. I set down the bow and picked up the glass of water sitting next to my chair. I drank deeply. When I set the glass back down, I was startled to find a familiar, tall, dark, and beautiful figure standing on the other side of the glass door to the practice room I was occupying. I set the cello aside and opened the door.

"Nima, what are you doing here?" I asked politely.

"I was hoping you might give me another lesson," she nodded toward the cello.

"Oh. Yes. Of course. Come on in." Her presence calmed my nerves, if only a little, but a small part of me felt guilty for agreeing to spend time alone with her.

"What would you like to work on?" I asked her innocently, attempting to keep to the business at hand.

"Actually," she started shyly, "I was hoping you might play something for me, for inspiration's sake?" She smiled bashfully, causing me to blush.

"Sure," I said, clearing my throat. "What would you like to hear?"

"Hmm, I'm not sure," she said thoughtfully. "Play me your favorite." I didn't even have to think about it. I knew exactly what I wanted to play for Nima, a piece that would speak for my heart in a way that I could not with words.

I messed with the settings on the electronic baby grand piano positioned against the wall across from the door. The best part of working in a state-of-the-art facility, was having the best equipment for everything. Our pianos could play any part of any piece electronically, so that we didn't need an accompanist. As I finished messing with the interface on the piano, I sat down and picked up the cello, assuming a comfortable position. I didn't need the sheet music. In fact, there were few pieces I had ever played that I did need the music for, another gift of my perfect genes.

As the piano began to play, as if a ghost were stroking its keys, I took a deep, settling breath, then began my part. It was a beautiful gentle piece, filled with long, sweeping phrases. It soared upwards, tugging at the heartstrings, only to flit back down gently, landing quietly on the last few measures. I played it more passionately, with more emotion and meaning, than I had ever played it before. The instrument, the music, and I were no longer separate entities, but one ethereal being. It lasted only about three minutes, and before I knew it, it was over.

I felt a warm sting on my face. I wiped at my cheek, and my fingers came away wet. Was I crying?

"Wow. Aria, that was incredible," Nima said, leaning forward to wipe more tears from my face. "Are you alright?"

"I think so," I replied with a sniffle. "I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm crying."

"Because it was perfect. I've never heard anything so moving. What piece was that?"

"The Swan," my voice cracked. "It's my favorite."

"Oh, sweetheart," Nima said, holding her arms out to me. "Come here." I did as she said without hesitation. The endearment, and the warmth of her embrace as I folded myself into her arms made me feel vulnerable, but safe for the first time in a long time. I still remembered Blake's words. I knew I shouldn't let myself feel comfortable with Nima, but I had starved for affection since Róisín died. I couldn't help but long for it.