colours. (camren)

Chapter 1

Lauren POV

Do we all have a purpose in life? Or are we just here to live until we die and then that's the end? Are we just a part of evolution?

All of these unanswered questions are what I think about when I'm supposed to be doing work in this boring Advanced Math class. I love math but I already knew what the teacher struggled to explain to the class; I think even to himself. Their inferior minds never cease to amuse me as they struggle to comprehend what I think is not academically challenging.

I'm not actually that self-absorbed. It's just how my mind works when I daydream. It creates its one fantasy world where I rule everything with my mind. I guess maybe because I always want to be intellectually challenged to improve my skills. Some might say I am a bit of an over-achiever. I say that I do what I need to make my dreams come true; science of course. I mainly want to focus on the creation of any and everything. It sounds cheesy but I know I can make headway if I start now, which is why while thinking about this, I am filling out an application to a university that focuses on academics and only academics. I know that I will not fit in mainly because I am not the smartest but I still get really good grades, when I'm not writing songs.

The classroom was generic; white from wall to wall, old TV hanging in the corner right next to the chalkboard that looks older than my teacher, one wall with ten windows for the students to stare out of and ponder life through. So I did exactly that.

I flick my bottom lip with the eraser of my pencil, staring out of one of the windows. All that crosses my mind is what is wrong with a 17-year-old, decent-looking girl like me who has never dated anyone, not because she was unwilling. I think up all of the conceivable explanations as to why I am always single. Many guys don't like to ask me out because they think I'm too intimidating and will quickly move onto the next guy. Not all girls are horrible. Am I too picky? Guys have asked me out before, but my mind has a way of seeing the future I might have with the guy and it never ends well in my head. My mind is my system for every aspect of my life. If it thinks it won't work out with a guy, my mind will give me mental images of a little girl crying in a thunderstorm in the middle of the road.

Sometimes I envy the girls who don't have a mind like mine that would plan out to the nearest detail. It makes life easier at times but harder other times, like my dating life; yeah the nonexistent one. They just go out with guys because there's nothing stopping them, there's no inner tug that prevents them from taking risks or making mistakes. They're freer.

This train of thought occurs everyday during class. This is the gloomy road I take until I reach the end;  which forces the images of what happened to me last summer to resurface. Seeing spitting images in my brain begins to close my airway, making me choke on the little bit of air I was able to inhale. I grab at my neck with both hands gasping for air. My grasp on my neck was so tight that I begin to turn red. Finally, I let go and release a heavy cough followed by a rather long, but life-saving breath. I was so deep in my thoughts, I didn't realise that the entire class had their eyes on me with my rather hot teacher, leaning over my table rubbing my back as I stare down at the ground taking short breaths as it was all the energy I possessed allowed me to do.

"Lauren! Lauren!", he yelled straight to me, forcing his hot minty breath onto the sleeve of my THE1975 t-shirt. I was still in a trance because I was staring at the floor, with my eyes steady without one blink for an unusually extended period of time.

All I could see was her face.

Thankfully, Mr Brand's second attempt to snap me out of it, worked. He shook me endlessly still calling my name, hoping that this time he would have success. The shakes became slower and weaker, indicating the end of his effort, and right then, I got mentally slapped, hitting me hard enough to send me back into reality. I jumped under Mr Brand's hand, slightly scaring him and pushing him back.