Journal [Ryden]

8.

Ryan waited patiently for his coffee as he scrolled through his Instagram. Sure, it was around 4 in the morning, but Ryan enjoyed getting up to watch the sunrise. Ryan has always been fascinated by sunrise and sunsets, he started getting up early and sleeping late to watch them when he was 11. For the last 2 years, he's taken a picture of the sunset every day at the same exact time, same place; same with the sunrise.

He loves the way how it looks once its been a year and he prints them all out and lays them down on a table.

"Um, Ryan?" Ryan slid his phone into his back pocket and stood up, walking to collect his coffee. He said thank you and smiled, walking out of the small shop.

Ryan walked around for a bit before finding his spot. The bench is where he has sat for all the pictures.

It was once he sat down that he noticed the book next to him. He furrowed his eyebrows and looked around, incase there for someone around who the book could belong to. But he was the only person there.

Ryan picked it up carefully, wondering if he should look inside. He did. Opening the first page, there was an almost blank page, except for 2 words. 'Brendon Urie' Ryan's heart beat spead up suddenly, knowing this was definitely some sort of journal.

"You are a cruel, cruel person for reading this, Ryan."

dear Diary, or whatever.

Dallon isn't home, again. We got in an argument over nothing and he left. The house is empty and I like that. When Dallon is here there's a constant black cloud covering every room. its as if he's a tornado, and everywhere he walks get destroyed. He walks over me a lot.

I have been questioning my love for him, recently. I know theres only one side of it, he only uses me, really. And although I am fully aware of it, I don't try to do anything about it. I let him do what he wants. Its like when he calls me a faggot, his boyfriend a faggot! Like how ridiculous is that.

I've had opportunities to run, due to him finally letting me out the house, only to get him beers, of course. But I don't.

I don't know why.

Ryan's jaw was clenched as he suddenly shut the book, not wanting to read more. He put it down besides him, where it was before, and put his head in his hands. Hundreds of thoughts were running through his head, but his head jolted up as he heard running footsteps and heavy breathing.

He saw a man, standing a few feet away from him, panting, with wide eyes. His mouth opened slightly, as if he was about to say something, but instead he turned and ran away.