So You Want to Know How to Write

Vampire

We all know what happened after Twilight, the best romance book ever, graced the shelves of bookstores worldwide. Here's how to write a vampire book worthy of reaching as many views as your super-popular werewolf story.

1. MAIN CHARACTER
Again, a female. She must be very special, beautiful, smart, and neglected by everyone. Make sure her parents don't interfere by either making them dead or just not putting them in altogether—that always works.

2. NAMES
The guy, of course a vampire, must have one of the following names:

-Ray

-Gray

-Hunter

-Fancy British name

-Oliversmith Tristanman Hunterson

You have liberty with the girl's name, just make sure it's easily combined with the guy's name so rabid fangirls can spam the ship name everywhere. Or not, and said fangirls can just be Team Oliversmith Tristanman Hunterson.

(Tip: the werewolf girl names work well, except for the ones that are very related to werewolf stuff) (which is most) (sorry)

3. PLOT:
-Hot sexy vampire attracted to MC's blood for some reason

-Hot sexy vampire has twelve-pack

-MC is kidnapped

-Hot sexy vampire teaches MC all about vampires, somehow managing to keep from her earlier-said-to-be-irresistible blood scent

-Hot sexy vampire loves and hates her

-Bad vampires and evil exes attack

-MC is badly injured

-Hot sexy vampire is badly injured

-One holds the other and cries

-MC is bitten

-Miraculous vampire power, or MC's blood, or MC's tears, have healing abilities

-MC and her new boyfriend kick butt

-MC and her new boyfriend make out (bonus if they have a baby)

-Hints to a sequel