Here We Go Again

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Hey guys!! So I tried to end this chapter on a happier note! I'll add in a fun easy going chapter soon! I would really love feedback from you guys! I'm going to update again tomorrow so yay extra update this week! Okay guys I'd really love to get a couple of comments from this chapter or even my previous chapters! I need some inspiration for this story and I know you guys have lots of ideas! Love you all and stay strong! xo


Demi

I walked off after Mac yelled at me, took a deep breath and went back. Now we be honest about everything. The self-harm, her not eating, her dad and Jake. She hasn't told me everything and I need to know. "Couch. Now" I tried not to sound too harsh but I needed her to know this was serious, she can't keep things from me if she wants me to help her. I sat down and waited for her to come over to me, she slowly got herself down from the bench and made her way over, sitting on the chair by herself. "Okay...why didn't you sit on the couch with me...?" she didn't hesitate "Because if you're going to send me back to my dad I'd rather sit over here and listen, than sit next you where you can pretend you still care" my jaw dropped open, WHAT! "I would never send you back to your dad, if I had it my way you'd never go back!"she looked up at me and I thought she would start crying "But...I yelled at you...don't you hate me...isn't that why you walked out and then made us come sit down.."

I sighed and patted the couch so she would come over "Baby girl, no, I don't hate you...I get why you got frustrated but I'm also realizing how much you aren't telling me. I've noticed how you barely eat or excuse yourself after a meal. I need you to be honest so I can help you. You need help, you can't keep doing this to yourself" she pushed her hands through her hair and looked at me with so much anger I thought she might slap me "You don't get a say in what I do Demetria I choose what I do to my body. Once I'm skinny I'll stop, I'm in control. I have all the control" I hated that she used my full name, and I know she intended it to do so, but I also know that she's trying to push me away because that's what the disease wants her to do.

"Baby girl, you aren't in control, and that isn't how it works. It's not just 'I'll do it til I'm skinny' it's a disease. Let me help you okay, I just want to help. And you can be helped baby girl you just have to let me in" I tried being gentle again but if she bites back I'm going to have to show her some anger, maybe then it will get through to her.

"Just fuck off Demi, I don't want your help! I just want to be skinny! And it's none of your stupid business anyway! What do you care!?" her hands clenched into fists as she screamed at me, time to be a little more convincing. "Of course I fucking care Mac! You're going to kill yourself if you aren't more careful! God Mac you don't get it and you're in denial if you think you aren't hurting yourself. Hurting you hurts me. What if I decided to stop eating? To slice open my skin? What if I said fuck it and went back to my old ways? Would that hurt you?" I immediately regretted getting so angry and worse bringing hurting me into it as I saw Mac begin to cry.

"You think I want this? You think I want to hate myself? You think I like cutting? I hate it but what else can I do! My dad beats and rapes me, my boyfriend used to beat and rape me and on the odd occasion still manages to do it now. I get beaten up and bullied every day at school. What else can I do Demi!? I don't have anyone to help me!" her tears turned into full blown sobs, ripping through her body, making her shake where she sat. I carefully reached out and pulled her onto my lap "I'm sorry baby girl, I didn't mean to get so mad, I just care so much. It scares me to see you hurt yourself and restricting your body from what it needs. I just love you so much"


Mac

I pushed myself off Demi to look at her and saw she had tears falling down her face. I took a deep breath and sung "You've got a face for a smile you know...I don't want to hurt you Memi...I'll tell you what you want to know..." she smiled at me "You know I'm the one who's supposed to sing to you...and I want to start with Jake..." and of course she did. The one subject I had basically been avoiding since forever. I figured she's start with how much I've eaten or my dad but no she had to pick Jake. "Do we have to start with him..." Demi shook her head "Yes baby girl we do, think of it this way, it's only going to get easier" she offered me a small smile and motioned with her hands to get comfortable and start talking. I put my head in her lap, she was luckily sitting cross legged on the couch, and grabbed her hand to brush through my hair.

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