Everything Would Change

Warrior

I woke up, the sun shining right in my eyes, and two giant lumps over me. I groaned and tried to roll over, my whole body was aching, and as I shifted so did one of the lumps. "Ow! What the fuck!" I leaned over the bed eyes wide and laughed "Oh my god Mar!" I went to give her my hand to help her up when I noticed the white bandage secured tightly around my forearm "oh god..." Mar looked up her face turning serious as I started to cry and hid under the covers "Kiddo, It's okay...you can come out" I shook my head "No I can't! Demi will hate me! I wasn't meant to be here" I pulled the covers tighter around me and let out a sob as I felt the other lump moving "I don't hate you, you're my baby girl, and I think you were meant to be here" I shoved the covers off me and attack the lump I assumed to be Demi, since Marissa was still on the floor rubbing her head and moaning about being pushed off the bed "can't trust anybody, always me that gets thrown off the bed" Demi giggled and wrapped her arms around me.

As I cuddled closer I remember what she said last night and what I did after "Dem I am so sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you! I just wanted to feel better and I missed you so much it hurt so much having you so far away! I'm so sorry momma I'm so sorry please don't hate me" I began sobbing my fist tightening in her shirt pulling her close.

I could feel my tears staining her shirt but I couldn't let go "Baby girl it's okay, I know, I'm sorry I got so mad I was hurt. Baby girl you gotta tell me about last night, what you did...its okay now we got you bandaged up but it could have been so much worse baby. You're so lucky, I was ready to call an ambulance" at the mention of an ambulance I dive back under the covers "I don't wanna talk about it, please Demi" she reached under the covers and pulled me out, sighing.

Demi

My heart was still melting at Mac's use of momma for me but I pulled her out from under the covers anyway "Baby girl, these bandages, I had to wrap them myself. I got your text message and screamed, I left Marissa by my car while I ran up here to find you slipping in and out of consciousness. I am so freaking lucky you didn't go too deep and I was able to stop the bleeding. When Marissa finally got up here she threw up, she had to leave and comeback. She nearly called an ambulance herself because she wasn't sure I could handle it" I paused and took a deep breath I could see Mac's eyes glazing over as tears made their way to the surface.

"Baby girl it's okay, you're safe, but you need to talk to me...please..." she shook her head and tried to hide again. I reached over and pulled her onto my lap where she immediately pushed her face into my neck and sighed "I missed you Demi, I had to leave I couldn't stay there any more" and with that she started crying again. I pushed us both down so we were lying down and Mac curled up into my side throwing her leg over my torso and nuzzling her face into my shoulder and neck.

"Shh baby girl, it's okay, just breathe" sighing I ran my fingers through her hair. She's even smaller than the last time I saw her, it's only just been over a month and she looks tiny. She hasn't kept her promises, when I was cleaning her arm up there were plenty new scars and healing ones too. How am I meant to keep her safe? "Sleep baby girl, you're safe I promise" she had stopped crying finally but every now and then her breathing was met with a hiccup and she would cling tighter to my shirt

"Memi...will you stay with me...I know you hate me and want to leave, but will you stay while I sleep?" sighing again I nodded "Baby girl I don't want to leave you, ever, of course I'll stay with you" she cuddled in closer as I continued to run my fingers through her hair and soon I could feel her breathing even out.

"Mar are you okay?" she still hadn't got off the floor from when Mac flung her off "Yeah Dems I'm okay, I just didn't want to interrupt you guys talking" she gave me a small smile as she got up off the floor and sat down next to Mac on the bed. "Is she going to be okay Dem...?" I shook my head "I don't know, I don't know what to do about her. She can't go back there, I doubt her parents will even notice she's missing, but eventually someone will. Where is she going to stay?" I knew she was expecting to stay with Marissa for a couple of days till she could get into a hotel, but she can't live there forever.

Mar looked up at me frowning "I wasn't going to send her to a hotel Demi, I was going to let her stay here" I laughed at her immediate rush to defenses "Mar, I know, I was actually thinking she might want to stay with me..." if she even still likes me that is. Plus I will have more rules. "I mean I want her to stay with me, but what if she still hates me, or what if she just doesn't want to live with me Mar?" now it was Marissa's turn to laugh and I had half a mind to shove her off the bed again.

"Demi, she came here for you. I only agreed to help her if she would talk to you, and I know the only reason she didn't want to talk to you is because she was scared you would hate her. She wants to be with you."I started picking at my nails "Mar what if she doesn't want to live with me, what if she hates me after the way I acted earlier?" she simply shook her head "Dems if she honestly felt that way, would she really be cuddled up to you right now? Clinging to you like she's scared to lose you? If anything Dems she would be scared of losing you again"

Mac

I woke up next to Demi, who was occasionally snoring, and Marissa who was just snoring. I carefully untangled myself from between them and headed for the bathroom, don't worry I just needed to pee, as I was sitting on the toilet I took a look at my very carefully bandaged arm. I didn't want to undo the actual bandage but as I turned my arm over I saw blood stains, do I change it or do I get Demi...She might get mad if I do it myself.

Not that I had to answer my own question as I heard a knock at the bathroom door "Baby girl...can I come in?" sighing I stood up pulling my pants up and opened the door for her "Yeah Dem I was just peeing" I walked back and flushed the toilet going to the sink to wash my hands "Dem...some blood seeped through, I think I need to change the bandages" she nodded and reached under the sink for the first aid kit. "Do you want to do it...or..?" I shook my head and sat back down on the toilet lid "No, If you can handle it I want you to change them" she smiled at me and took out a bandage and some antiseptic "I can handle it, I cleaned you up remember but this will probably sting okay?"

I slowly nodded and shoved my jersey sleeve in my mouth. Demi gave me a small smile, more like a frown, and slowly unwound the bandage. I tried not to look, terrified of what I might see, but I couldn't stop myself when Demi gasped. I looked down at the jagged cut that went down my arm and looked up at Demi "Demi...why doesn't it feel good enough...I look at it and it doesn't scare me it just looks pathetic..." I quickly looked down at my feet knowing Demi was going to be upset.

I heard her take a deep breath before telling me "Baby girl, it's horrible, you could have seriously hurt yourself; you could be dead. I don't know why it doesn't feel good enough, or feels pathetic. I know, for me, that they never seemed good enough. I always did something wrong that would make those little voices mad at me again. It's okay, just try to remember that I love you and that I'm here for you. Do you think you could promise to come to me before you hurt yourself next time?"

I sat staring at my feet while Demi cleaned and re-wrapped my arm, I knew she was waiting for an answer and I was going to reply, I just...didn't know if I could promise that for her "Dem...I...I don't know..." she kissed my bandage and looked right in my eyes

"Promise to try baby girl, that's all I need"