Blue House | Tronnor

Chapter 8, Troye POV

I turned, tripped, and hung on to the railing. His face locked onto mine, and I slipped down into the water. I hit the waves, first noticing that it was freezing. But that wasn't my concern. My concern was staying alive. I kicked towards the light, breaking through to the surface and looking up. All I saw was gray. Gray rain clouds, gray from the wetness in my eyes, gray from my black, bulky coat doing its best to drag me down deeper into the murky water. I tried to swim out away from the pier so I didn't get crunched against a wall or smashed into a rock, but it was no use. The current made it so it seemed like I stayed in the same spot, until I slowly but surely started drifting closer to the large, jagged boulders. A wave came, crashing over me and tugging me under as I struggled to stay up. I had never been a good swimmer--I was thin, I didn't exercise much, and I didn't like not breathing--but now it was even harder to stay afloat, Once again, my coat betrayed me, siding with the current and pulling me down. I took a breath, wanting air but getting water through my mouth, filling my lungs. I sank, gazing up at the light as my vision closed into darkness. The last thing I saw was a figure, obscuring the view and diving down towards me in a haze of bubbles. I reached out, my eyes slamming shut just as the person grabbed my hand.

I felt hands on my body, an arm wrapped around my chest. I felt myself being pulled, and I could tell that the person holding me was struggling to stay afloat. Then there was a sudden jolt, and then air. Sweet, cool air. I coughed and spluttered, the arm still wrapped around me. I could feel the drag of my body in the water. I cracked my eyes open and saw the blurry outline of the someone, holding onto the wooden beams of the pier with one arm, the other arm looped around me. "HOLD ON TO ME," they shouted over the wind and waves. Their voice seemed familiar. I barely heard it, but I nodded faintly and latched onto their back, clinging to them like a koala. They began to swim, taking long, firm strokes. "THE ROCKS!" I screamed frantically, trying to tell him that we would soon slam into the jagged boulders. He said something back, but I didn't quite catch it. Oh well, I would die either way. I held tight, praying to every God, monk or priest I could think of. I peered over the man's head, watching as he waited for a wave. He was trying to go over the rocks, apparently. A wave came, looming way over us, and he starting madly kicking, propelling us forward. I coughed some more as we went with the wave, making it over the first rocks and towards the shallow water where there were two maintenance ladders on either side of the pier. I felt my lungs fill up with water again as we caught another wave, tumbling around but making it over the rocks. I felt my vision seeping away just as we made it to the ladder. The man slung me over his shoulder easily, and began climbing. My head dangled, and I blacked out before I could throw up.

For the second time that day, I was awoken by coughing up half a gallon of seawater. I retched, bending over on the concrete and shivering. The man lay next to me, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he stared up, also shaking. I crawled over to him and helped him up, my legs trembling as we stood. My eyes lifted a few inches to his face, and I choked at what I saw. "C-c-con-nah?" I chattered, freezing cold. He pushed his wet hair out of his face, still breathing heavily, and nodded. I fell back down, breathing rapid, shallow breaths. It was too much. The one person who I couldn't stop thinking about, who just so happened to be straight and off limits, had just saved my life.

Panic attack.

From time to time, when I had too much on my shoulders or was just really nervous, I would get a panic attack. Whenever I got one, it was my way of knowing that I had to calm down. I could stop them most of the time, by breathing slowly, thinking calming thoughts and being reassured, but this time it was too much. Tears streamed down my cheeks, and I rocked back and forth, my head between my knees. "T-t-tro!" Connor stuttered, kneeling beside me. I shook uncontrollably, hyperventilating. I felt hands, just like in the water. The water. I shook more, the world eerily silent, save the blood rushing in my ears. Numb, I felt the hands take my coat off, then peel my sweater over my head, leaving me in my thin, wet t-shirt. I was too tired, scared, and overwhelmed to care, though, and my breathing hitched, becoming shallower than before. I felt the hand move to my back, gently rubbing small circles between my shoulder blades. A second hand moved to my arm, softly moving up and down, warming me. Comforting whispers filled my ears, small words that calmed me down. I felt myself relaxing, and I gasped in air. 

I could breath again.

I knew that the worst of the panic attack was over, but I would almost certainly have a relapse later today. I looked up at Connor, who was kneeling protectively over me. "Thank you," I whispered, and he smiled at me, a tinge of sadness in his gorgeous green eyes.

"TROYE! CONNOR!" I heard. Zoe came running up, Tyler close behind her, carrying a bundle of clothes under her raincoat. "Here, come inside, hurry. We'll get you into dry clothes," she ordered, gently grabbing Tyler (still stiff and in shock) and hauling him inside. Connor helped me up gently, his hand staying on my back as he steered me towards Zoe and Tyler. I shyly crossed my arms over my thin chest as Zoe handed Connor his somewhat dry clothes that he had left on the pier. He offered me his hoodie, and I took it gratefully, still shaking. Once we both had dry tops on (there wasn't much we could do about our pants or my shoes), I felt myself being pulled into a hug by a larger, muscular frame, trembling slightly. Connor. I cuddled into him, not caring who was watching or that he was straight. I ignored everything and just hugged him. We nestled together, sharing our warmth the whole ride home.