Weight of Living || The Galaxy Cat Sweater {Bastille || Dan Smith || The 1975}

31: Get Home

Zoe leaned in and locked her lips with Dan's. He didn't pull away, he didn't even kept his eyes open. He kissed her back. He held her waist. 

I dropped the beer can I was holding. I quickly looked around and saw my friends staring at me.

I took a step back. 

''Stop and stare, I think I'm moving but I go nowhere.'' OneRepublic song came to mind. 

- DANIEL! - Matt yelled. 

- ZOE! - Alice shouted.

- Anna... - Phil said.

She pulled away and left him with a disappointed look on his face. She looked at me. He looked at where she was looking and his disappointed face was replaced by an apologetic one. 

I turned around and ran away. Ran as fast as I could. The cold, biting wind against my face. I wasn't crying, but I was drunk, so I couldn't really see where I was going.

After a long time running I stopped and looked around. Empty, dark street. One cafe at the end of the street was open, and few lights were coming out. I ran over there to warm myself up and get things straight with some hot drink.

I ordered a dark, simple coffee.

I would normally order a latte, but lattes remind me of Dan.

''Better not do that to myself.'' I thought.

I sat on the chair near the windows. I spent a long time observing the street after I finished my coffee. I saw a group of people walking around, yelling something like my name. When I realized who it was, I quickly went to the bathroom.

''No, they won't find me. They won't get in here. I don't want to talk with them. I don't need to. I need to get home. I'm not safe there. I need to get home.'' I thought. ''Get home.''  

I didn't had time to be sad as I heard familiar voices coming from outside. 

- Miss, hey, miss. - I heard Kyle saying. - Have you seen a skinny girl, with brown and pink hair, about this height... Black jacket and black pants, around here?

''Goddammit, no. Please say you didn't.''

- I think she went to the bathroom, but I'm not sure. She may have gotten outside. I didn't see. - The lady said.

- Thanks. - Emma answered.

''Fuck you, lady behind the counter. Fuck you.'' 

I heard the bathroom door opening, and voices calling me. 

- ANNA! - Jen shouted. - Anna? - She knocked on my door. I couldn't hide there anymore. I couldn't hide forever. I had to go out sometime. I just didn't want to go out now. 

- Anna, come on, I'm seeing you, darling, get out. - I heard Alice saying from above me. I looked up and there she was, with that fucking perfect blue hair and those amazing piercings and flawless ear stretcher. I didn't even know why I was pissed at her. - Get out there, let's talk. - I got up and opened the door. I didn't look at her or any of her friends, nor Emma. - ANNA! 

I ran outside and crossed the cafe in a blink of an eye. The boys weren't there. I got out the establishment and saw them talking just beside the door. I made eye contact with Woody and saw a sad expression stamped on his face. I ran away, turning the block and getting into a dark alleyway. I heard people screaming my name, but I ignored them. 

Then, something occured to me. I shouldn't run away. Why was I running away? That was my life. Running away. I should stop that because this time I was running from my everything. They were my everything. These people, they are my life. If I lose them, I'm probably dead and my existance is meaningless. No drama here. It's true, it's real. The pain was real in that moment, so it all was real, right?