Identity Disorder {A Juuzou Suzuya Story}

Chapter 7

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Emiko asked with a bewildered expression, staring at the silver haired boy who laid curled up on her counter.

"Swearing isn't nice, Emi." He grumbled tiredly causing the woman to pinch the skin between her eyes in irritation. He had broke into her home and was sleeping on her counter in the middle of the day but he was talking to her about being nice.

She glared icily as she dropped her bag onto the couch.

"How did you get in my apartment and why, Suzuya?" She snapped and the boy peaked an eye open lazily with a tired smile.

"I saw some ghouls circle your building a few times and you weren't home, so I killed them, then I took a nap on your counter." She stiffened at how easily he said the words. He killed them.

Memories of killing one of the twins from last night rushed to her head and she covered her mouth as her skin began to pale. She suddenly felt cold and nauseous as the guilt wracked through her body.

I killed him...

She thought as her heart began to pound loudly against her chest and her hands clenched into fists. She stared down at the ground and gritted her teeth as she tried to calm down. But she felt the bile inch cooly up her throat and felt his eyes on her as she sprinted for the bathroom and threw up. She had let her stomach empty itself, unable to hold it down any longer. She just kept rethinking to herself the memories of last night and found herself sick to her stomach.

I killed him..

I'm just like him.

I've killed.

I have blood on my hands.

"What's wrong Emi?" His childish tone came to her ears when she had finished vomiting and simply rested her head against her cool arm. She cried. She cried like a baby, harder than she ever has in a long time.

She knew it was to survive.

She was aware it was him or her.

But she had killed.

She cried harder and was broken down into sobbing. She felt herself get lifted up like a ragdoll and it only made her cry harder. She wanted to throw up again, she wanted to break something, maybe she just wanted to curl up in the dark.

Feeling herself being laid down in her bed, she curled even further in her ball and allowed the hot tears to fall silently down her face.

"A crying Emi is no fun. So sleep, because I'm sleepy too." She heard the voice as she was sat down on what seemed to be her bed. She couldn't find it in her to panic as the male laid behind her and pulled the blanket up. She just found herself asleep.

"Yeah, I killed him and I broke." She admitted, a hand tangled in her dark waves out of distress.

Her body ached and her mind was racing as the sound of water buzzed her ears. She thought quietly on her emotional morning with slight irritation. A highlight over how awkward she felt waking up with Juuzou holding her so tight.

"Emiko, you know it was self defence and it was either him or you." Her adopted father reminded her and she scowled, her nails digging into her scalp in frustration.

"That doesn't change that I've taken someone's life, dad!" She almost shrieked and Arima grew silent, knowing she needed to speak out loud about the conflicts that were swimming in her mind. "S-Someone's son! Another's big brother or little one and a cousin! Someone's possible soon to be father, another's lover and someone who another held dear!" Emiko wanted to shout through her rambling. "I've always wanted a family, someone to love me, and I'm the selfish monster who stopped another from getting the one thing I could ever wish for."