DMs from a Dead Man.

THE SHADE!!!

PRINCE MEETS GOD

"What's a wattpad story?" Michael asked Lisa.

"I don't know." she shrugged. Everyone was relieved to see James & Marilyn escorted out but wasn't sure how to feel about Prince reading them to filth. All eyes were glued on Prince with the sound of Prince sipping from his cup breaking the silence.

"I know i'm beautiful. We've all been over this. So why are we still staring at me?" he asked.

"Because you threw way too much shade." Whitney mumbled.

"I don't get how I threw too much shade? I don't get how being shady is even bad? How is me being shady bad when they're smoking weed over there?!...I understand this is heaven but y'all know being shady completes me" he ranted.

"God knows his height didn't." Michael said rolling his eyes.

"Michael, you of all people do not need to be staying away from shading someone. Look at you. You know you need a tan, I've met paper darker than you." Prince said.

"OOOOOOOhhhhhhhh!!!!" The crowd went.

"You guys I think they're about to have a shade off." Selena said.

"I'm so glad i'm dead to see this." Vanity said.

"Ohh Prince you're so funny. Just like your album sales." Michael said.

"Well we can't all aford to buy a million copies of our own album, when we're busy contributing our dollars to the inner-city and African American charities." Prince shrugged.

"Sure....that's the reason my sales are good. Look Prince I apologize that my wallet is taller than you but I don't apologize for being a better musician than you. My dad would whip us into shape to be great performers starting at age 5." Michael boasted.

"He should've started at age four for you. If he 'whipped you' to get you in shape then he should've jumped your ass to be better than me cause your performances boof." Prince said

"What's boof?" David Bowie asked.

"It's a New York term for stinks." Biggie replied.

"Ohh." David Bowie said before bursting into laughter.

"Yeah cause it's so hard to sing live while humping the air." Michael said.

"It's way harder than lipsyncing and walking across the stage, shouting like your autistic." Prince replied.

The whole crowd gasped.

"I get that way when I start to really feel the music versus you feeling up on some tour mate. " Michael snapped.

"Oh you want to talk about feeling up on people? At least my hands are on women who are over 18. You've touched more kids than a pediatrician." Prince said bowing.

"Oh my God he brought up those accusations. Prince is throwing daggers at my n*gga Mike." Luther Vandross said.

"THOSE CHARGES WERE LIES." The crowd all said at once.

"Were you there?" Prince said.

"NO." the crowd responded.

"Just checking. I ain't got no little six year old buddies." Prince said checking his nails.

"Alright that's it. I'm going to finish this once and for all. Prince, I don't hate you. I think you're pretty cool. Your name is cool by itself. Prince. I assume that's short for 'Prince of hell' but you know it's whatever. All throughout the 80s I couldn't figure out why your camel face was considered a sex symbol. The only sex symbol vibe I get from you is the transgendered one. No shade. Then you had some little hits. You won your little dingy Oscar. Then your career started flopping like a fish outta water. 'Kiss' I thought that video was interesting. I could see why the girl was covering her face in the video. You're ugly. She was doing her eyes a favor. It's odd you'd bring up my ALLEGATIONS when you were openly dating Marvin Gaye's daughter when she was fifteen and nine months. *Michael waves at Marvin* Didn't she get pregnant and it disappeared? Hmmmm. Wasn't Mayte sixteen and you were approaching forty the first time y'all...nevermind. I'm sleep. I'd roast the artist 'formely known as' but unfortunately the 'artist' couldn't make any formely known hits. *shrugs* When you came back as Prince you were really a frog. Your millenial music croaked. My posthumously album 'Michael' spun more hits and I didn't even sing on that album. It's cool tho. I mean despite a terrible music career, I congradulate you on making it into heaven. It's nice they accepted your little groupon coupon. Sucks you had to take Chyna as your plus one." Michael said.

THERE WAS TOTAL SILENCE. Prince was unbothered.

"Oh Michael, that was cute...Just like your third nose. Your nose has been cut more than an emo kids wrist. I like how your shade had nothing accurate in it. I don't know where to begin. I guess i'll go randomly. I mean it's hard to hurt a guys feelings when he can't even feel his face. You've had so much plastic surgery that Hasbro has officially labled you the new face of the game 'Operation.' Speaking of new face. I'm suprised you made it into Heaven as well. God don't recognize you. I guess you had connections. Kinda like that night at the Grammys you won eight in one night. Congrats that is quite an accomplishment. If only the albums you had written on had that kind of success. *shrugs* I like how you called my Oscar for Purple Rain 'dingy' but my outfit from the movie wasn't when you stole it for your BAD music video. Why call it bad? Was there no room for disaster? Pathetic? Autotune? I digress, you're music isn't that bad. Why, you inspire me daily. The way you make me feel is that the music industry is crap. Then you did another flop that I can't remember? Something to do with time and egypt. Who cares or even remembers? I remember you had that song called 'Black or White' where you told people race doesn't matter to you. When we all know the only black women you've dated was Latoya Jackson. Then you married Lisa Marie after she successfully got her penis removed. I think it's nice you're supportive to transequality. Y'all were so happy and you guys were all friendly in Neverland. I heard you even had trains that traveled throught the property. That's cool trains match trainwrecks. Then you guy's divorced and you had two kids by a lesbian potatoe. You even had a surrogate produce your third child, if only she had produced a sucessful album for you. Invincible? More like Invisible. Then you came back and died before that "This is shit" tour. Did I miss anything? Nah. Do I want to take anything back? Nah your hairline is already doing that for me. Well then I guess i'm done." Prince bows.