Loving Cassie

Break Down Here

Break Down Here

It was Saturday night and everyone was gathered at Daddy's for Carrie's "Big Announcement". There were more bodies filling the house than I cared to count and I was stuffed into a tight corner with Walker tucked neatly into my arms. More than anything, I felt like a sardine stuffed into a can. I heard people talking as they moved by, all wondering the same thing that I was. When did Carrie get back and why was she making an announcement? No one else seemed to know either. I'd grown tired of standing around about twenty minutes before and was already on my way to grab the diaper bag and my purse when Daddy called out to me. I groaned. Instead of showing my Dad how much I didn't want to be here, I simply smiled and hiked my little guy higher on my chest.

 "I've been looking for you for the last ten minutes, but I guess in a mess of people like this anyone can get lost. The cake is on the table and we're ready to sing. Let's get this over with so I can crack open the bottle you bought me." I chuckled to myself and latched on to his side as he weaved through the throng of people. I was about ninety percent sure Dad had no idea who half of these people were and their being here was all Carrie's doing. Not wanting to ruin Dad's birthday shindig, I didn't voice my complaint. Once we were seated and the candles lit, we all began to sing – most voices unsure but they pitched in either way. Walker babbled softly as the song wound down, cooing when my father placed a dollop of buttercream on the tip of his nose. I rolled my eyes at this, but allowed it to happen. As a grandfather, Daddy said it was his right to spoil Walker to certain things. Sugar being one of them.

The cake was taken away by a cousin, one I hadn't seen in nearly four years. I was more than surprised to start noticing estranged family members scattered across the expanse of the kitchen. Large bags were set on the table, blocking my view. Apparently, it was time to open gifts while the cake was cut. It wasn't an overly long process and I made noises of amazement as each one was pulled out. Some of them were really nice, well thought out gifts, and others were simply last minute. Daddy was grateful either way.

"Okay, Daddy, now for your final gift!" My neck nearly snapped with the speed at which my head whipped around. It was Carrie. She was glowing. Her blonde hair was plaited into a neat fish tail, the five tones gleaming under the lights in the house. Her face was impeccably done with make up, not a hair nor smudge out of place, and her clothes were neat and pristine as always. Suddenly, I understood why Dalton had left me for her. She was everything I wasn't. Polished and beautiful. Delicate and dainty. She was beautiful and while I was pretty, I had never been Homecoming Queen material unlike her. I went to look away but something caught my eye; it was my In-Laws, LeeAnn and Jonothan Holland. They stood together, grim-faced. Directly beside them was a beaming Dalton. My heart started to race.

What on Earth were they doing here?

Carrie had placed a large box in front of Daddy and instructed him to lift the lid off – suddenly a mob of blue balloons exploded out. My father looked bemused but at Carrie's insistence, stuck his hand in the box and fished out a silver picture frame with a black and white picture in it.

It read: You're A Grandpa!

It was a sonogram.

Daddy didn't react like she'd planned, obviously, because the camera she'd had glued to her face after she'd handed him the gift, was lowered slowly and an uncertain look crossed her face. My face, though, was ashen -- a few people around me murmured and asked if I was alright. I didn't respond. I couldn't. My mouth was dry, like I had a hangover and my head pounded.

"Who is the father, CarrieAnne?" Daddy asked, placing the photo frame on the table in front of him. His hands were shaking so much that the frame almost fell.