Emojis

fire and fifth

*Chasten*

I sit with my body facing towards the video playing, my face blank. A million thoughts raced through my head at lightning speed. When I glanced at Marcy, a rosy colored flame surrounded her as the slid lower into her seat, face flushing from embarrassment. I felt the usual waves of emotions along with the fire, but I was shocked. I didn't know what was happening. This was completely new to me. Never have emotions been shown to me, I've only felt them.

Then, another anomaly happened. Everyone around the room had fire surrounding them. Different colors, a kaleidoscope of light that attacked my eyes. I blinked multiple times and the fire went away. Gone. I blinked again, making sure that they didn't pop up again.  I turned back to Ms. Banks. What's wrong with me? 

Before the video began, I felt persistent wondering of the unknown, the desire to know something. My face contorted into shock and a little bit of surprise when it dawned that someone already suspected. Then I realized, it was Lo.

I already knew I was being looked at differently, but Lo did not dismiss it as a weird kid being weird. No, she took it a step farther and wondered what I was doing and who I am. This is very bad. Lo could get nosy, invading my privacy in ways that I have not experience. I've tried my best to blend in, be a chameleon, not letting myself stand out. I always got a healthy mix of A's and B's, standing under the radar. In athletics, I ran in the middle of the pack, never finishing first.

But now, in a stupid moment of a desire to be smart I raised my hand and basically stood up, shouted to the hills holding a neon sign, I CAN FEEL YOUR EMOTIONS. The rat-voiced kid even noticed. They are someone who doesn't miss anything. This puts me at a risk. It risked exposure, something I do not want. It will start it again. 

I flashed back to a painful memory of when I wasn't so careful and the urge to fit in and to not be an outcast drove me to blurt out my secret.

Fifth grade, other wise know as the year of hell. I don't remember what I did that made me such an alien to that school, but everyone took an instant disliking to me. Teachers upturned their nose and kids bad mouthed me. I knew, I could feel resentment and fear because I was different to them. I was one of the only people that wasn't white at my school and I stood out like a sore thumb. Olive skin, dark eyes contrasted with white skin and brighter eyes. My clothing even distanced me. Ratty clothing and baggy jeans couldn't compete with freshly iron capris.

It was near the end of the school year, just after spring break. The kids hadn't seen each other in a week and kids hadn't bullied me in 7 whole days. How boring it must've been for them. After a lonely lunch, I went to sit on a lone bench. It was in a small little cove that showed me the playground but hiding me from the teacher's watchful eye. How stupid of me. But even if they saw what they did to me, they would've turned a blind eye. 

I didn't notice them until to late. I only looked up when their shadows blocked the sun and their voices rang in my ears.

"Hey little weirdo. How was break? Did you miss us? You haven't had the privilege of us beating you up all week. I wonder how you survived" The lead boy, Alex, said grinning and showing off his crooked teeth.

I stood up, only come to nose level. Alex had to tilt his head a little to keep me in sight. This was a constant point of gleeful teasing by them.

I wasn't scared. Much. I knew that as long as I didn't give them any amo, they couldn't hurt me. That was my mantra. No info, no shots. It's what carried me through the horrible fifth grade. But it was in the end of the school year and I was tired. Tired of being beat up, teachers turing a blind eyes at my bruises, praising the very kids that beat me for throwing away trash. It wasn't fair, and I knew it. Nothing was fair.

The kids snickered and shuffled forward, making me backup, the edge of the bench pressing against the back of my knees. The usual taunts came, along with hits. It started with pokes in my side, then my face, my arms. Laughter grew until I felt as small as an ant cowering under a giant boot.

I sat down hard on my butt, raising my hands up in an effort to stop the blows raining down on me.

'Whatcha going to do, huh?"

"Look at him! Your so weak!"

"Sissy!"

"Werido!"

The pokes turning into punches, and burst of pain bloomed over my body. On and on it went.

Anger, hate and vengeance downed me and I was gasping like a fish out of water trying to get air.

Tears streaked down my face, landing on my shirt. Wetness emerged from my nose and began to flow freely. I was whimpering. Then, suddenly, it stopped.

The bullies where standing back, panting I guess beating a kid up took a toll on them. I slowly uncurled, and sat up.

Alex was right in front of me, staring me down and I locked eyes with him.

He was angry, very angry. When his eyes landed on my bloody nose and my swelling eye, a sharp pang of guilt hit me.

We stood like this for a while. Minutes must've passed, and Alex's goons started shifting around. All the while the small pool of guilt grew. Finally one of them spoke.

"Can we go now? I'm tired of looking at his ugly face." Tom said.

Alex snapped upright and the guilt vanished, drying up like water in the sun.

Then, slyly, he smiled. "I think we need to ask you some questions.." He said, he eyes glinting evilly.

"Like what?" I croaked.

"Like how you knew that Tom here liked Jo, or how Jo liked me." Alex replied swiftly.

Tom glowered down at me, his fist clenching and unclenching. I bit my lip then turned my eyes back to Alex.

Alex knelt down to my level, placing his elbow on his leg and is head on his hand so he looked like the staute of the philosopher.

"So how did you know? I want to. I'm sure that my friend Tom here wants to too."

I didn't move or breathe.

Alex suddenly stood up, anger welling up from my very core and pouring out my body. In a flash, Alex's fist drew back and my head snapped back into the concrete wall. Hands started shaking me.

"Tell!"

"Ok! Please, stop shaking me..." I replied.

The hands stopped and I looked up, wiping my hand across my face.

"I... I know these things... well... I-"

Tom slapped me across the face, sending blood flying into the air. It landed on Alex's shirt and yelped loudly, glaring at Tom. Tom shrunk back.

"Go on." Alex prodded, crossing his arms.

"Icanfeelyouremotionsandthat'showiknewthatTomlikedJobutshelikeAlexok?" I spat out.

All of a sudden stars came into my vision, blinding me.

Hello Peeps! Soooooo sorry that I couldn't update sooner, I was having a bit of a writers block. Next update will be sooner!