The Wanderer (bethyl)

Chapter One

Chapter One

When Daryl Dixon met Hershel Greene's youngest daughter Beth, his first impression was that she would never survive out there in the world the way it was. Since shit hit the fan, she had been barricaded into this little safe space created by her overprotective father, sheltering her from all the horrors. Sure, she'd lost her mom and brother, and he really did feel for her on that, but for the most part, she was still free to live on this idyllic farm, frolicking around pouring lemonade and brushing the damn horses. The Greenes were faced with only the occasional straggling walker that stumbled upon their land, and one of the men would take care of it. Sweet little Beth never had to lift a finger, never had to see just what the world had become. She never had to go hungry, never had to cry without a pair of arms waiting to hug her.

That was more than Daryl could say about his own family, even before the apocalypse. If he could admit it to himself, part of him was jealous of the tight leash Hershel kept his daughters on, knew his own daddy never gave two shits about what happened to him or Merle. A few times, he let himself wistfully envy Beth's naivety about the world.

Whatever. Not like he gave two shits about a bunch of strangers. He just wanted Carl to get better and Sophia to be found so they could get out of that place. Not that constant moving and scavenging on the road seemed much more appealing, but to say that he didn't get attached to people easily was an understatement. It concerned him the way the rest of the group seemed to be making themselves comfortable.

Things changed. The group gradually became more torn and fractured. As time went on, tempers flared constantly and allegiances seemed broken. Turned out that Lori was pregnant, and there was an air of uneasy tension between Rick and Shane at all times. Daryl often caught Shane glaring at Rick with a wild look in his eyes, and it didn't take a genius to put two and two together. They discovered that the oh-so-honest Greene family had been hoarding walkers in the barn, pulling the blinders over their eyes and claiming that they were just sick people and there would soon be a cure and things would go back to normal. What a crock of shit.

After nearly being killed in the forest while looking for Sophia, Andrea shot Daryl on his way back, grazing his ear and keeping him bedridden for several days. While moping around in his tent, unable to go very far and feeling utterly useless, he contemplated everything that was going on, and mused that sometimes he felt like the only sane person in the group.

Then, in a fit of rage, Shane tore off the barn doors one day and essentially released the straw that broke the camel's back. As walkers came spilling out, growling and snapping before being swiftly taken down, one lone little girl shuffled behind the rest... Sophia Peletier, flesh half-rotted away, eyes gray and soulless, clothes torn and bloodstained, stumbled aimlessly into the sunlight, slowly and steadily making her way toward the group members with teeth bared. Daryl felt his heart drop to the ground, and a wave of nausea and hopelessness fill him. Carol immediately burst into tears, lunging forward toward her daughter before being held back. He grabbed her and held on while she collapsed and sobbed. He did not cry - nobody would ever see him cry - but he felt completely numb and empty and shattered inside and his eyes remained locked on Sophia. All that time, he had been looking for a dead girl... how could he be so stupid? How could they have let it happen? After a long moment of miserable hesitation, Rick finally ended it with a bullet. Sophia instantly fell backward, and silence settled over the farm.

Nobody spoke for a long time. Carol drew up into herself on the ground, shoulders trembling as she was racked with sobs. Daryl kept his hand on her back and scanned the rest of the group, all of their faces stricken with shock and grief. He also saw the Greene family. Hershel knelt on the ground, looking both confused and desolate at the loss of his wife and son. Maggie stood behind him, speechlessly wiping away tears on her sleeve, while Beth wept noisily with her face on her father's shoulder.

Then she suddenly got up and ran clumsily toward her mother's body. She knelt before it and rolled it over, before discovering in horror that Annette was not completely dead. Beth screamed in terror as her mother tried to sink her teeth into her, grabbing at her with dirty rotting hands. Daryl instinctively grabbed his gun, as did everyone else, and Andrea finally took out the woman as the others pulled a hysterical Beth away.

Daryl's observation was confirmed. She was so naïve and this world was too much for her. But he still felt a lingering pang of heartfelt pity for the poor grieving girl that he barely knew.

Later that day, Daryl heard that Beth had collapsed and gone into shock after everything that happened. He couldn't say he was surprised, but he did pause for a moment, feeling a twinge of concern as he remembered the young girl's heartbroken face earlier. Then he shook it off when Lori asked him to go into town to find Hershel.

No. He was done. He refused to get attached anymore. He had gotten attached to Sophia and Carol, and look what happened. He ended up chasing shadows like a damn fool, letting himself get worked up over a little girl that wasn't even his. And Carol just wouldn't leave well enough alone. No matter how hard he tried to pull away, she was always looking at him with those sad Bambi eyes, crying herself to sleep at night while putting on a brave face and trying to play the wise nurturing role.

He was done caring or looking out for anyone but himself. He retreated to the outskirts of the farm by himself, and when Lori approached him to try to go rescue her husband, he was filled with a deep sense of anger. Rick and Hershel could go to hell for all he cared. And that girl, lying catatonic on her bed? He pushed away any sympathy he had for her. She needed a goddamn reality check sooner or later, just like anybody else.