The Wanderer (bethyl)

Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine

{She was late. Very late. At least three weeks, if not more. It was difficult now, keeping track of time. But that morning, she had suddenly remembered.

Fear had quickly taken hold of her, like a cold hand creeping up her spine.

Any other time, she would have put it down to malnutrition, or stress, or just the way these things were sometimes. But after that one night - there was a chance.

She would have to tell Daryl. Just thinking about his reaction made her want to laugh and cry all at once.

Her hands shook as she pulled on her boots and she suddenly realised that what she really wanted was Maggie or her mom. She wanted them to sit down beside her and hold her close and tell her everything would be alright.

But they weren't there.

And she still had to tell Daryl.}

UPDATE: This is after the prison fell and I'm making it as if Beth was never kidnapped.

The next morning, she felt ready. A little braver, even. Daryl had been so...distant, since that one night. He refused to talk to her about it. In fact, he refused to talk to her properly about anything. In the past few weeks it was as if they had taken a step back. Back to before the cabin.

And she had needed time to think it over, too. She had needed time to consider what could be ahead. She was afraid, of course she was. That immediate and intense shot of panic had coursed through her and left her mind reeling. But there were other feelings there too. She remembered Judith; how she had loved being sung to and kissed on the nose and playing with anything red. It had been difficult, but it had been worth it. She was convinced of that. She even let herself imagine holding a different baby in her arms. Their baby, with Daryl's eyes and her hair. The image made her heart swell.

They were sat opposite each other at the kitchen table. There was something canned and cold for breakfast. The white trash brunches had ended some weeks ago, but she tried not to think about how different things had been back then. Before.

Beth laced her fingers around her can, eyeing Daryl warily as he wolfed down his food and avoided her gaze. She knew he was desperate to escape the uncomfortable silence between them. It was the same every morning.

"Daryl, I..." She looked up at him then, to check that she had his attention. She did. It was now or never. "I think I might be pregnant."

She watched as he wiped his fingers on his pants, slow and methodological. He stole a few looks at her as he leaned back in his seat while she desperately tried to read his expression.

Her words had immediately taken him back to that one night, all those weeks ago. He was flooded with shame and guilt all over again. Shame, because it had been wrong; guilt, because it had felt so right. Then he thought of Lori, and what had happened to her. And what had happened to Judith. He felt sick. This was bad, and it was all his fault. All his damn fault.

He noticed Beth's pained expression and realised she was expecting him to say something.

"You sure?" he said at last. To Beth's relief, it sounded more like a question than an accusation.

She shook her head "I need a test. To know for certain."

"Come on, then."

She was tempted to stay exactly where she was. She knew Daryl was a man of few words, but was that it? Was that all she was going to get from him? With a sigh she buried her anger and followed him out the door. She wasn't done with him just yet.