Non Ducor, Duco 〈 Mikayuu 〉

❌3- Heartless Beast❌

"It's a new day! Get up, Mikaela!" Cynthia cheered. She booted herself back up. Wonderful. "I'm up." I groaned, sitting up. I almost tripped over my boots on the way out of my room. Then I forgot my clothes and went back, almost tripping yet again.

I mentioned how I received all I asked for minus money, here is where it goes into play.
When I was seventeen, I figured out I could ask for anything. And, being the sly devil I was, asked for a coffee shop. You wouldn't believe how furious my boss got upon discovering I had found my own loophole. He had to comply regardless, so that is how I ended up with my third job. Yes, it was stressful juggling all of them. But I made it work. Arranged my schedule, rather. One day, I work at my shop. The next, whatever I had been assigned to do. Rinse and repeat.

"Next! Here, take your change." I said, handing the dollar bills and coins over to the customer as the next approached. It went on like than, a never ending cycle of cleaning dishes, taking orders, making coffee, and giving them away. I don't recall eating lunch that day. Oh well. At least I made profit. As I was cleaning down the tables, Cynthia decided to turn the lights off on me.
"Really." I sighed, staring at the security camera in the corner of the room.
"Okay, okay, I'll turn them on." She giggled, light flooding the previously pitch black room.
"What job did they give me." I blandly asked, giving up on a coffee stain. I wanted to burn that godforsaken table for not ridding itself of the stain.
  "I think it was getting some old dude to cough up information." She muttered absently. After a minute of her humming, one of the most human features of her, she came back.
"Yeah, you gotta beat up an old dude. Hope he isn't a grandpa. That would be sad." She said. I pretended to ignore that statement, the possibility of him having children and grandchildren who loved him hurting.

  I had locked my inner thoughts and emotions deep in my mind with a door blocking anyone's path. In such, people have called me many things. Ruthless, beautifully strict, and cold. They will try and tell you I am heartless, which is incorrect.
It is one thing to say I am incompetent for my work, but no one will say I am incapable of emotions.
I know how to love. Even if it was only my mother. And, yes, I know how to cry. For the same reason. My mom.

She was a brilliant woman, mind you.

Sarcastic, vulgar, stubborn like myself, a fan of profanities, but also caring, outgoing, sweet, and was very... Out of the box in ideas. My father once told me I was going to end up a male version of my mom after I got sent home early for telling a boy where he could shove his pencil when he insulted my ill mother. Never mess with nine year old me. I would fuck you up in the worse possible way. I was never told what my mom worked as- although I assumed it was something that payed well.

"Mikaela?" Cynthia asked, dragging me from my thoughts. I was about to say something, and stopped myself with the processed information I had gathered.
"Sorry, sorry." I sighed, tossing the wash cloth into the sink, a splash of water bouncing up. Inside the right side of the sink was a bunch of soaking dishes. They were next time's problem.
"You kinda went away for a few minutes. It was kinda weird." She commented as I stashed away the cash, I a box beneath a floorboard.
"Not if you know me. Which you do."
"Yeah. It just.. Worries me, I guess? Which is probably weirder. An artificial intelligence program getting worried. Huh." She rambled as I turned the open sign to its counterpart, her voice fading as I locked the door, heading down the side walk in search of my car. I always parked it in the nearest business' parking lot- with their permission, of course- and walked to it after hours. Some days they would have to decline me parking there, which I understood. They were having busy days on those occasions.

Waving to the owner who stood in the window, I started up my car. "You need to change up your routine." Was the first thing Cynthia cheerily said from my car stereo.
"I'm perfectly fine with how it is now." I muttered, eyes darting across the road as I drove onwards.
"It's boring. You gotta spice it up, if you know what I'm saying."
"If you're implying I go to a strip club I WILL switch to Hyacinth."
"Forget I said anything, then." She quickly squeaked. I sighed, pressing my forehead to the steering wheel as I approached the halt in the drive known as red lights.
"I'll run to work tomorrow, then. Will that satisfy you?"
"Yup!"

The microwave beeped, signaling my royal banquet to be completed. Yes, it was another frozen meal. No, I do not lack the skill of creating my own meals. I know how to cook. I love to cook. I never had the time to, is the main obstacle I faced in the task.
Sitting at the table near my kitchen, I clicked through channels aimlessly until I gave up, watching cartoons instead.
Frozen broccoli is the absolute worst.
Cold and warm at the same time.
Why am I talking about broccoli, again?
Oh, right. Distracting myself from... The job of that night.

"Okay!" He croaked. "They took the package from me. Left me for dead. I promise I don't know any more than that! Now, let me go!" He cried, curled up upon the floor of his own bedroom, blood leaking from his cheek.
"Did you get that?" I asked through my earpiece.
"Yeah. We're good to go, Mikaela." Hyacinth confirmed. I looked down to the old man as he sobbed. Injured. Bruised. Bleeding. God, I hated these jobs. Sympathy coursed through me like a tidal wave, drowning everything I was.
"You're heartless, Blue Beast." He said quietly.

No.

"A monster."

Stop it.

"The devil himself parading around like some Saint. Giving no shits about the lives he ends in doing so."

Please.

I am not heartless.

As much as I try to convince myself that no one is above me, my own troubles always manage to taunt me in horrendous ways.

So, I began to lie to myself, starting that day.

You're human, Mikaela.
And even saints have their flaws.