The Separation Situation: Sequel to The Renovation Complication

9. Regrettable, Forgettable

Mason

There are people trying to claw their way out of the inside of my skull.

At least, that's definitely what it feels like.

"Tara, don't go." I hear Max groan about a yard away. It feels like the sound is bouncing off my brain.

"My name is Tiffany!" A girl's voice rings around the room before a door slams shut.

Ouch. I don't know whether I should mourn my scrambled brain cells or my roommate's ego. For a sweet minute, the room goes quiet again and I almost get back to sleep.

Almost. "Tahlia?" Max grunts, with a sharp inhale.

"Her name is Tiffany, for Christ sake, Max." I sit up, realising sleep is out of the picture. Jesus, my head. "And she left."

Finally, I open my eyes, cringing at the blinding light. It burns! I tentatively tilt my throbbing head toward the bunk on the other side of the room. Oh, thank God I'm in my own dorm, is the only thing I can think.

And then, what the hell happened last night?

"What..." My mouth is acrid and dry as sand, "What happened?"

The guy grunts again, running a hand through his unruly, dark locks and sitting up in the mess of sheets. He looks like crap. There's remnants of smudged lipstick all over his face and I'm reminded of a few weeks ago, when I probably looked like that, though covered in Tori's cherry lip gloss.

"You don't remember anything?" It sounds like he's lost his voice a little.

I rub my face, which feels greasy and filthy. The last thing I remember is you daring me to do shots with you.

"Not enough." I wince at how raw my throat feels. I'm suddenly aware of my cell phone on the bedside table, covered in... glitter? I don't even care. My alarm didn't wake me and today is... Thursday? Yeah, yesterday was Wednesday, so today is Thursday.

And Thursday is afternoon training. Oh thank God. If I miss one more practice because of my goddamn alarm, I am going to lose this scholarship. The clear condition of this stupid deal was that I show up to practice, I show up to classes, I'm set. If I scrape through on a C minus, they'll let me stay. But if I don't go to play football on my football scholarship?

I'm dead.

But not today! Score for Mason!

Ouch, even the cheering in my brain hurts.

"Check your phone," Max laughs and I give him a confused look, "I dare you."

So I do. And what I see horrifies me beyond belief.

Open is a one sided conversation with Victoria Aspen.

You: im sdrujnk andd I'n sprry

You: Toru im sorry

You: I'm do soery

What? A pang of dread shoots through me, and I'm instantly dialling her number and the phone is ringing. And it doesn't go straight to her message bank. It rings one and another half a times before abruptly playing the message. And that's even worse.

She declined my call. I fucked up.

"What did I do last night?" Much to my headache's dismay, I start pacing around the room, and I think I'm going to punch that smirk off of Max's pale face.

"Well," He rolls out of his bed, stretching in every direction. "There was a phone call, and a girl and the rest is history!"

A phone call? I called Tori when I was drunk? And a girl?

What... What did I do?

"A girl, what do you mean a girl?" My voice is a little too loud for a dorm filled with hungover college boys. I think I can taste my pulse in my throat, but maybe that's just my voice or a girl that I don't remember.

Please, God, don't do this, don't let me have done this, I can't have done this.

I'm not like that anymore. I love Tori, I'm with Tori, I belong to Tori.

Drunk or not, I wouldn't have done that to her. I wouldn't have done that to me.

* * * *

"No, not that I can remember." Alice ruffles her bleached hair, panda eyes on full display. I'm guessing she went to another party last night and is hitting as hard as Max was yesterday morning. Not as bad as I did the other night, though.

I don't think anyone could hit as hard as I did.

I mean, not drinking for pretty much two years and then absorbing my bodyweight in alcohol? Bad idea.

"Are you sure?" I urge, frantic. She's leaning against the doorframe to her room, which Max had given me the number for (from the note she passed me the other day).

She scoffs, "Yeah, I'm sure." She blows out an exhale and my stomach churns at the scent of liquor on her breath. "I think there was a phone call... from your girlfriend?"

"Yeah, I know about the phone call," I dismiss, cringing a little at the thought, "But did anything happen... Between us, Alice?"

"No." She rolls her eyes, "Apparently you have a girlfriend. You made that very clear."

Oh, thank God. Even drunk me is smart enough not to get myself into something like this. I had to be sure that I wasn't guilty of anything before I really tried to apologise to Tori. She's still ignoring my calls. And it's been two days.

Two whole days and she won't reply to my texts or my calls or anything.

I hate fighting with Tori. It's like when she's upset, she totally shuts me out, and it's the worst possible thing. Because while I am ready to apologise and throw my pride out the window, she's sitting in her room with the curtains shut, letting every worst-case scenario play through her head.

And Victoria can seriously overthink when she wants to.

It's not like it would be too hard to find some horrible scenarios from the phone call she was involved in. I can't exactly remember what was said, but I know it couldn't have been good to pretend I don't exist.

At least I know it's going to be fine, right? Once she realises that nothing happened, it'll be okay. I'm sure. We never really have serious fights. Just arguments that lead to radio silence. Before, it was easier to get her forgiveness, because I could just tap on her window, or kiss her, or agree to some sort of demented Spongebob Squarepants marathon and we'd be okay.

Now it's not so easy.

This is why long distance relationships are doomed to fail. Because when you realise that the physical aspect of the relationship was all you really wanted, it's just not worth it anymore. Of course, being close to someone is a key factor to any relationship, but for some people it's the only factor. They just don't realise it, take it for granted.

But this... This is more. I know it. I love Tori, more than anything before in my life. Probably more than she loves Spongebob, and far more than I love peaches. Now it's just a matter of whether or not she feels the same about me. And sometimes it's so hard to express that to her through a phone call.

Because right now all I want is to go to sleep at night knowing that she's not going to cry over me, because God I just can't handle her crying. Ever since that night I heard her sobbing in her sleep, over her mother, the sound shatters me. Because seeing her break to the point that her sorrow is leaking out of her eyes? I can't handle it. And she knows it. It sets of something primal and distressed inside of me.

So, that's why she always stays strong for me. She tried her hardest not to let a single tear escape when I left for college. If she knows she's going to cry, she hangs up on me. She buries her face into my chest if it's already too late, stifles her sniffles. It sucks. I feel awful about it.

And from Atlanta, when she's declining my calls, there's absolutely nothing I can do to fix this.

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