The Separation Situation: Sequel to The Renovation Complication

46. Time

Mason

I stare at her door. I never really look at it that often, seen as I'm more familiar with coming in through her window. Back when everything was easy. I don't really know what's going on inside of me. I just feel numb, but not numb at all. Melancholy, I guess. There's a funeral in the pit of my stomach for something I can't put my finger on.

We will never be the same after this.

The handle doesn't jam, but slides open at my touch, like she's been expecting me. It took me all day to muster up the courage to get myself this far. Even I couldn't milk it anymore to pretend like I needed more time.

There is no more time. The clock has stricken midnight, the bomb has already exploded, the stopwatch has broken. Now we have to pick up the rubble and come up with what to make of it. To find out if there is anything left.

My footsteps are silent on the floor. I see her figure sleeping in the bed. Not sleeping, a voice whispers, waiting. She stares at me, and I sit on the corner of the mattress, elbows on my knees, head in my hands. We don't turn on the Christmas lights. Whether it's in fear of making this real or of moving, I don't know.

I breathe in, then out, inhaling the silence and exhaling the words. "Have I lost you?"

She slowly sits up, and somehow I end up facing her, both of us sitting on her blankets like we're playing truth or dare. Through the darkness, I can see her cheekbones, and her short hair, and her swollen eyes. The face I've come to love. Adore. She doesn't say anything. Instead, she wraps her arms around my neck and burrows her head into my shoulder.

It feels like we could almost forget about this, and go straight back to normal. I wish we could.

"I'm so sorry, Mason." Her voice is muffled by my shirt, and her body heaves once in a sob. And then another. "I don't know what happened. It didn't mean anything." She's crying into me, and for the first time, it doesn't scare me. Because somehow I know that this is her apology, it is the only way that we can get through.

But there's the trust that has evaporated, and even if everything is okay, there will always be that doubt. I don't know if I can get over it or even learn to live with it.

"Why?" I whisper, and my arms snake around her waist by instinct. I'm at home with her.

She weeps louder, tries to bury herself deeper into my shoulder. We cling to each other. "I was so confused, and... I thought I was losing you. I was scared."

"You'll never lose me, Tori." I whisper into her hair, which seems funny, seen as I was the one asking that at first. Then, it seems to tumble out of me, "I'm yours."

"I still love you, Mason. So much. I always will." She sniffles, and brings her head out of its hiding place. She rests her forehead against mine, and I feel the warmth, like honey, trickle through my body. After a long time, we end up laying down, her in my arms. We don't sleep.

"Are we going to be okay?" She murmurs, her breath mingling with mine.

In reply I press my lips to hers, slowly, like a melody. We kiss like we have all the time in the world, there is no urgency, and no countdown to our next separation. It's so familiar and yet, so different in a way that seems to slow my heart, rather than speed it up. I forget that these lips have also touched the boy I re-tore my knuckles on this morning.

Limbs tangled, bodies fused together, we somehow open a new understanding, one that cannot be communicated through words. I realise that there have been so many misunderstandings between the two of us that have happened because we were afraid of losing each other to the inevitable hourglass. We were so afraid of time that we stopped looking to the future and focused on how we could sustain what was happening right now.

But that doesn't matter now. I have a future with Victoria Aspen, and nothing in the world can take it from me. Not some kid who moved into my house, and not a fricken clock. Because we are stupid and young and in love.

And we will take our goddamn time.

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Yay!!!!!!!!!!! That's it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's the last chapter! THe End!

I want to thank everyone who ever read RC, and that small handful that moved onto SS, you all mean more to me than you can possibly imagine!

THERE WILL BE AN EPILOGUE

I just need some time to write it. I've written these last few (like, 10) chapters in a super hurry, and I want the epilogue to leave you with something special!!!!!!!!!

Love you all, and don't forget to vote or comment or share so that some othe poor soul can experience the roller coaster that is the Renovation Complication!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!