I had to think and react quick, any pause in my explanation would have cast doubt, "Mum, that's mine. When I smelt it the other day it reminded me to get a tub, to sort out my own fro," I said, without any 'make uppy' hesitation.
I saw her face soften and relax, "You promise me daughter, you'd tell me if you had Josh in your room, wouldn't you?"
I rolled my eyes and looked at Mr Lacey, "Mum's terrified that history's gonna repeat itself and I get pregnant at sixteen, bringing shame on her family, like she did," I said.
Mum exploded with a fake indignation, "DAUGHTER! Don't drag up my old shame when we have company," she said, giggling unselfconsciously. Mum's got over her old Catholic guilt.
I winked at my teacher, "See what I mean, I'm nothing but 'shame' in this household," I said. The honesty worked, it broke the ice and lead into a really pleasant evening that left me really bonded with my teacher and happy that mum had found a really good guy to be with.
###
But, alone in my bedroom that night, reality bit me big time. If dad's alive and mum's with a knew fella, the shit's gonna hit the fan, silly style.
Dad was, (is, maybe) a really possessive man, particularly with the two girls in his life, mum and I. He won't take kindly to a new man taking his place.
But then why'd he leave us and fake his death?
But it might not even be dad; it could be the Juju people playing with me?
###
I couldn't sleep, so I texted Josh: 'You awake?'
He replied in seconds: 'I am now.'
'Sorry, can't sleep'
'Shall I come over for a play fight?'
'LOL – no.'
'Ave you upgraded your like for me?'
'Almost'
'I still got to work on you?'
'A little.'
'Can I take you for dinner, after school?'
'I'd LOVE that.'
'Yeah – I is winning, that's an upgrade.'
'Good night.'
'See you tomorrow, Benita XXX'
###
You have no idea how much those three X's made me feel. I put my phone under my pillow and drifted off into a deep, dreamless sleep.
###
I woke feeling refreshed on the morning of the final day of school, before we broke for the summer holidays.
After my shower I pondered, we can wear our own clothes on last day of term, but suddenly I didn't know what to wear.
I wanted to look nice, but not too over done. In the end, I went classic: Gap skinny jeans, my new trainers and a tight(ish) white t-shirt – the fro-remained wild and loose.
###
All I could think of in school was Josh. I continually checked my phone, with increasing disappointment every time I saw a blank screen.
'He'll message me at lunch time,' I thought.
But he didn't.
###
School was literally buzzing with pre-holiday excitement. Girls and guys, who'd spent the year flirting, were now openly hooking up, proudly displaying their relationship status by parading the corridors hand in hand.
