Hooked

Epilogue

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, INDESIGNIC 2016.

Epilogue

I never knew true peace until I began living my life with Adrian.

From the day I accepted my mate and moved with him to his home, my life was brighter, and I had a sudden feeling of importance, a sort of self-confidence and awareness that allowed me to flourish as my own person and as his mate. I wouldn't trade that for anything.

But right now, I felt anything but peaceful.

"Stop talking and drive!"

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry!"

Kor yanked open the driver side door and moved to step in, until a pale hand pulled him back and shoved him into the back seat.

"Just sit quietly and call the hospital," Vienna instructed. She threw the car into drive and slammed her foot on the gas pedal, and I bit my lip until it bled.

"I'm going to have it right now. We're not going to make it to the hospital," I gasped out. The pressure was so intense I could barely breathe.

"Stop panicking. Breathe in and out slowly. Kor, breathe with her."

Looking like he'd been thrown under the bus, Kor offered me his hand and then groaned in pain when I squeezed it. I didn't care - his bones would heal quickly when I let go, if I ever let go.

"How long until we get there?" Kor asked, trying to keep his voice steady. My eyes were watering, but I could still see the concern on his face. He looked at me and tried to instruct me on how to breathe, as if I didn't already fucking know. I refrained from screaming back at him.

"We're almost there."

I did try to breathe like all the books said -- I really did. But it did nothing for me, and I quickly gave up and tried to think about how worth it this would be when it was over. I may have been mumbling out loud, over and over, trying to convince myself that this was a beautiful thing, but graciously no one said anything about my lunacy.

Vienna parked the car and raced around to my side, opening the door before Kor even had a chance to let go of my hand. I heard her tell him to unload my pre-loaded duffel bag from the trunk, but I was so focused on not having this baby right now in this parking lot that I couldn't hear anything else. She led me through the automatic doors and towards my doctor's office, where I prayed he stood waiting for me. It was happening with or without him.

Where is Adrian?

The question passed fleetingly and disappeared entirely when I felt the strongest contraction yet. I couldn't tell if it was Vienna or I who screamed, or possibly both. I repeatedly told myself that it would be over soon.

Dr. Anderson rushed out and led me into the room, and after that, everything became a blur.

~~~~~~*~~~~~~

There is no experience as rewarding and unexplainable as holding my first child. A close second was watching my husband hold her, looking at her like she could save the world just by existing.

The adrenaline was wearing off, but I remained alert to listen to Missy and anything she needed to tell me. I couldn't have slept if I wanted to, because two pairs of blue eyes were watching me with a new kind of wonder, seeing me in a new light: mother. For Adrian, I was a blessing, and I had given him a blessing. For Cleo, I was one of the few things she recognized in this foreign world. I could tell she knew her father's voice, but she regarded him with a quiet intelligence that still held uncertainty.

"I think I could sleep for years," I said quietly, feeling the droopy smile on my face. I watched Cleo stir a little when I spoke.

Adrian's facial expression mirrored mine. He had shown up just as Dr. Anderson had instructed me to begin pushing. Mortification and helplessness were understatements. He tried to stand supportively by my side, but his hands shook so badly that I almost asked him to let go of my hand so I could concentrate.

"I think it's time for everyone to get a little sleep," Missy said. She showed Adrian how to carefully lay out daughter in the cart, and she promised that Cleo needed rest just as much as we did. Regardless, Adrian followed her as the nurse took Cleo to the nursery wing, and I finally relaxed when Missy dimmed the lights and told me she'd be back to check on me soon.

I had nearly fallen asleep when Adrian returned. With all the prerequisites out of the way, we finally had time to ourselves. I think we both agreed that sleep was the only real option. Even though I protested, he pulled that uncomfortable chair to my bedside, and he rested his head on the bed and held my hand until we both fell asleep. I cannot say I have ever slept so deeply. 

~

Adrian made parenthood look easy. Then again, there weren't many things he was bad at.

I, on the other hand, constantly felt like a wreck. While everyone assured me that I was holding myself together very well, I still felt like I couldn't quite get a handle on motherhood. Being an Alpha suddenly felt like taking preschool classes in college in comparison to being a mom.  Cleo, of course, was worth it all. She was a dream, rarely crying at night from the day we brought her home. By now, she was sitting up on her own. I was so proud of her, and I already had plans for her first preschool and all the things that came with it.

Even though it was difficult, and even though I still saw the very real scars every time I looked in the mirror, I had an optimism I had never felt before. I wasn't hiding anymore. I was embraced for my uniqueness, I was loved for it, and I loved myself for it. Cleo would no doubt be an interesting creature, hybrid that she was. So far, she loved water, and she loved the moon, though we wouldn't know if she shifted into either of her parents' likelihood until she matured. I didn't have to worry about her feeling the same loneliness I did as I grew up, and I was so elated that my children would be accepted no matter what they transformed into once a month. And I knew she wouldn't be alone, because I had quite a few cousins in the Atlantic that I couldn't wait to introduce to my husband's pack...

For the future, I didn't know what would happen. But I did know that, if I had anything to do with it, Cleo's first word would be "mommy."