Somewhere, Today

7

Song for the chapter: Infinity by One Direction

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"How many nights does it take to count the stars? That's how long it would take to fix my heart. Oh baby I was there for you, all I ever wanted was the truth, yeah. How many nights do you wish someone would stay? Lie awake only hoping they're okay. I've never counted all of mine, if I tried I know it would feel like infinity.
Infinity."

I could feel the sun on my exposed arms, the light from outside was coming through the large window in my living room. Everyone around me is still passed out in a deep sleep, lucky for them.

I maneuver myself off the couch, trying my hardest not to wake anyone. I want to shower and clean up before anyone else wakes up. I desperately needed one after that road trip yesterday but I just never had the time.

I walk up the stairs and go straight into my room grabbing clean clothes and under garments. I pick out some black jeans and a sweater, it reminds me slightly of my old style but with a twist.

I'm surprised when I find the bathroom spotless and untouched. Usually my mom uses the bathroom in my room, she used to say that I had the best shower and that my father gave it to me because I was his baby girl.

I start the shower, wiping away the memory of my father that I had no desire to keep anymore. The water becomes scalding hot, just how I like it, and I get under the steam. My muscles loosen immediately and all the tension I've had these last few days just wipes away.

Of course I can't help but think of Harry when just doing even the simplest of things such as taking a shower. One of the most intimate moments of our relationship was in Harry's shower, right after he trusted me with that letter he had written for his father.

In that moment I felt as if I could trust Harry with anything, he was at the end of a high cliff just ready to catch me. That was until he didn't tell me the truth and broke my heart. I can't believe I had always been there for him and it didn't even mean anything. All I had ever wanted from him was the truth.

We were so close to just being happy. Why is it so hard for my life to be happy? A tear cascades down my cheek, camouflaging with the water from the shower. I need to stop being this girl. I don't depend on anyone, it's always been me, it'll always be me.

I wash the shampoo out of my hair, turning the water off after all the soap is gone. The mirror is all fogged up, making the reflection of myself unclear. I wipe away the residue and cringe at what I see in the mirror.

Mascara was stained down my cheeks from not washing off my makeup last night, making me look like a total wreck. For once my outsides match my insides. A mess, a hideous, emotional mess.

I wipe the black streaks off my face with a clean face towel, then I wrap a big towel around my body. I step into my room looking for my hairbrush so I could untangle the blonde mass on my head.

Maybe now that my hair is shorter, it'll be easier to comb and style. Cutting my hair was such an impulse and I just wanted to not look like the girl that Harry called pretty. I know it sounds crazy, but I needed to get away from my long hair.

I run the brush through my new, shoulder length hair. My hair is littered with tangles from yesterday, making my brush do a whole lot of work today.

I take a look around my room, and I notice that nothing in here has changed at all. The cork board on the wall still had pictures and brochures of my dream college tacked to it. How the mighty have fallen.