Somewhere, Today

34

Song for the chapter: Hurts Like Hell by Fleurie

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"I loved and I loved and I lost you.
I loved and I loved and I lost you.
And it hurts like hell.
Yeah it hurts like hell."

Harry and I lay intertwined in bed for a while, the sheets covering our bodies haphazardly. Our legs lay tangled, the soreness creeping onto them by this time. It didn't really bother me, not when Harry had me wrapped in his arms.

Our fingers interlock, our connection still as strong as ever. There was nothing I craved more than to be vulnerably naked with Harry, and right now we were ready to talk.

"Why come back?" My head nuzzles into his chest, the smell of sweat and musk mixing into the most perfect combination of poison. Of course Harry had attracted all these women before, he is undoubtedly one of the best cuddlers.

"Clair called," that hadn't of been the answer I had been searching for. I wanted to know why Harry risked his relationship with Meghan just to get involved with my chaos and the debris from my wreckage again.

"You could've ignored it all Harry, but you didn't and I need to know why." Harry's lazy breaths graze over the top of my head, my hair ruffling a little from the small breeze.

"I told you Sarah, every road just brings me back to you no matter what I do." His voice travels through my hair, his lips pressing themselves against the back of my head. I play with his rings, not really sure of how to respond or what to do next.

Clair never came back, which led me to assume that she had gone to class without me. I'm pretty sure she'd have Harry's head if she found out what had actually happened in here this morning.

Classes would be missed this morning, and for some reason I was okay with that. My mind would've been fogged the whole lecture anyways, which would've probably caught Mr. Hardy's attention.

"I don't want to be the one that breaks you again." I remove myself from my spot on Harry's chest, the warmth of his body leaving mine immediately. His eyes are hooded, almost as if he's ready to just fall asleep all over again at this moment.

"You're the one that always saves me baby." My eyes focus on a crease in my green sheets, the fold becoming the most interesting thing in the room all of the sudden. Harry notices my doubtfulness and pulls me into his body again.

Saying goodbye to moments like these with Harry has always been the worst thing, but in some ways I've known for awhile that I can't have everything I've ever wanted.

"I'm seeing a therapist tomorrow." I break the silence in the small room, my words breaking through barriers of the forced comfortable lull. Harry shifts underneath me, the presence of his chin disappearing from my head.

"Do you think it'll help?" I half expected Harry to question why I had even made the appointment. But his response seems to be nothing like Clair's, and I had been thankful for it.

"I'm really hoping it will." Harry kisses the top of my head, his arms holding me close, almost making it seem as if he's trying to keep me from running away.
Meghan has crossed my mind hundreds of times in the past hour, how Harry and I had worked together to totally break her heart. It wasn't fair that we had gone behind her back, secretly enjoying each other's company while she does her makeup and hair just to look good for a man that cheated on her.

It almost reminds me of Josh in a way, how in this moment I have become him or something close to him. My primary instinct is to get off of Harry and demand we tell Meghan together, but at the same time I too was guilty of holding him close.