apology

eighteen

December 22, 2015, 6 a.m.

We decide to cool off for an hour before heading back down the hill. Hoseok prepared some sandwiches and beverages beforehand, so we decide to munch on those for breakfast.

"Let's play a game!" Jungkook suggests as we take our first bite of the bread. Egg and mayonnaise has never tasted so good.

"What do you wanna play?" Hoseok asks, seeming pretty interested at the idea - but then again, has there ever been a time when he isn't enthusiastic?

"Let's play 'Truth or Dare'!" Jungkook grins, stuffing the rest of the sandwich into his mouth before grabbing an empty glass bottle from Hoseok's picnic basket.

"I'll start first," he takes the initiative and spins the bottle. The bottle whirls on the almost friction-less ground, before finally coming to a stop, its mouth pointing at Jimin.

"Jimin, truth or dare?"

"Truth," Jimin tells him confidently.

"Lame," Jungkook scoffs.

"I dare ya to say that again," Jimin retorts, and Jungkook quickly shuts up, afraid of offending his favorite hyung. Hoseok and I laugh at the maknae's priceless expression.

Jungkook continues with his question. "What are you most afraid of? Who do you hate the most?"

"That's two questions!" Jimin protests, before adding on, "But it's okay. I'm a generous person, so I'll generously answer them both."

Jungkook rolls his eyes.

"I'm most afraid of water, and the person I hate the most is a little girl," he answers without the slightest bit of hesitation.

A little girl? But why would he hate a little girl?

It's Jimin's turn to spin the bottle now. This time, the bottle ends up pointing at me.

"Idiot, it's your turn!" Jimin announces happily. "Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Hmm... talk about the worst thing you've ever done."

I stiffen, the image of Unnie drowning coming back to mind. Guilt tugs at my heart, and it hurts as much as a reopened wound. Feeling a pair of eyes on me, I turn to meet Hoseok's gaze, whose brows are furrowed together in worry, as if he already knows what I'm about to say.

"Nothing but the truth!" Jungkook interrupts our telepathy.

Taking a deep breath, I decide to come clean. "When I was ten, because of my rebellion, a lady lost her life while trying to save me from drowning."

At my words, the atmosphere immediately drops from hundred to zero. Everyone goes silent, even the usually talkative Jungkook.

I take that as a signal to continue my story. "Mom and Dad told me not to go out and play, but I didn't listen to them, and ended up falling into a river. A lady who was passing by saw me and jumped in to save me. However, while swimming me back to the shore, she suddenly got a cramp and was unable to continue swimming.

"She didn't even think of her own safety," I tell them solemnly, tears starting to well up in my eyes as I recall the incident. "She just pushed me towards the shore with her remaining strength and left herself to die. The worst part was that we didn't even know each other. She was just a complete stranger, and she was willing to risk her life for me."

I blink away the tears that are threatening to fall, before looking up and realizing that everyone's looking at me weirdly, especially Jimin.

"Was that too gloomy?" I laugh, trying to lighten the mood.

"Do you... remember how she looked like?" Jungkook ignores my comment and asks cautiously.

"She was about thirty years old, with long black hair. I remember my mom telling me that her last name was 'Oh'," I reply, Unnie's face coming back to mind like discarded smoke gathering together to form a picture.

These are old memories that I've buried deep in my heart, and now, for the second time this month, I'm reopening these old wounds. Every time, the remorse just intensifies instead of reducing.

Unnie, mianhae.

Just then, I look up and see the weird expressions on Jungkook and Jimin's faces.

Jungkook is gazing at Jimin, the expression on his face mild, leaning towards worry and concern, while Jimin's is cold, angry, and full of sudden hatred.

"Is everything-" I start to ask, but am cut off when Jimin suddenly stands up from his position on the ground and starts to walk towards the direction where we came from, without a single word.

"Hyung!" Jungkook yells, quickly chasing after him, leaving Hoseok and I staring behind them in shock.

***

Half an hour later, Hoseok decides to take me home after receiving a text from Jungkook, saying that him and Jimin wouldn't be going back for us.

"Is he okay?" I ask worriedly, remembering the look on Jimin's face as he left the woods just now. I've never seen such a scary expression on him. Something serious must have happened for him to look like that.

"I honestly do not know," Hoseok tells me with a sigh. "It seems like Jungkook knows something though. I'll ask him later."

I nod, and the car goes silent. The quietness isn't awkward though, surprisingly. It's peaceful.

Maybe this is one of the reasons why I really like spending time with Jung Hoseok. I always feel really comfortable around him.

I gaze out the car window as the song 'I Need U' starts to blare from the radio. "You really like listening to your own voice, don't you?" I tease with a smile. Last time, I caught him wearing his own merchandise at the convenience store. Now, he's shamelessly playing his own song in his car in front of his fellow band-mate's precious sister.

"Because it sounds nice," Hoseok grins back at me.

I can't help but agree as Jimin's part starts to play.

Subconsciously, I find myself digging my phone out from my pocket and scrolling through the messages between Jimin and I. I finish reading in less than a minute - there aren't that many texts to begin with, anyways.

I start to type, my fingers dancing across the keyboard.

What happened? Are you okay?
Sent at 7.15 a.m.

+

SORRY THERE WAS NO BOMB IN THIS CHAPTER BECAUSE I HAD TO CUT OUT THAT PART, THE CHAPTER WAS JUST TOO LONG ZZ BUT I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THOUGH

i have a feeling y'all will hate me for the next chapter though cause i hated myself too :<

thanks for reading! AND WE HIT 2K READS OMG I LOVE Y'ALL SO MUCH XO

:hoseokieomo