apology

twenty-one

December 24, 2015, 1.30 a.m.

"It's you."

"It's... me?" I frown at his words. "What are you talking about?"

"Why did it have to be you?" he continues to mutter drunkenly, but with a sober face. His bloodshot eyes pierce into mine, filled with hatred and sorrow at the same time. I've never seen such an expression on Park Jimin before.

I don't think twice about his words, shaking my hand out of his grip and heading into the bathroom to moisten the towel again.

However, just as I take my first step, a hand shoots up and grabs my wrist again. "Don't leave me," Park Jimin pleads, "Stay."

"You're drunk," I conclude, the image of the scene we had in his apartment this morning coming back to mind. I try to pull my hand out of his, but he hangs on tightly like there's no tomorrow.

"I'm not," he slurs. "I'm very," he pauses to hiccup, "sober."

"That's what drunk people say," I scoff with a small smile, intending to let the argument go. However, with a sudden burst of energy, Park Jimin sits up and pulls me onto his lap with one strong tug. The surprise causes me to drop the towel onto the floor, but neither of us move to pick it up.

"I told you," he whispers into my ear, "I'm not drunk."

I ignore my fluttering heart, wrestling myself out of his embrace as I remember that my brother is still in the house, but he sits me back onto him. "Don't leave," he begs again.

I attempt to escape a few more times, but finally give up after six tries. "What do you want?" I snap, slightly annoyed.

"You," Jimin replies innocently. "I want you."

"That is so, so cheesy," I cringe.

"It's true, though."

"I thought you had Dabin already," I blurt out, recalling the picture of Dabin emerging from Jimin's bedroom, half-dressed.

As if reading my mind, Jimin hastily rids the thoughts from my head. "I didn't sleep with her! She got there at around eight in the morning to give me some cookies she baked, then she had to use the toilet, which is connected to my room. She was in the washroom when you and Taehyung arrived, I don't even know why she decided to come out without pants and in my favorite sweater!" he explains in one breath.

At his explanation, I exhale deeply, only just realizing that I've been holding my breath. A small smile starts to form on my face. "I thought you said your business was none of mine, though," I remind him a little sadly, though the position that we're currently in is sending butterflies to the pit of my gut.

"I didn't mean that," he sighs, "I just didn't know how to face you."

"Why would you need to know how to face me?"

"Because," he starts to say, "I really hate you."

I stiffen. "What?"

"You don't even remember me, do you?" he snorts.

"What are you talking about?" I'm beyond confused.

"That woman was my mother."

"Which woman?"

"That woman from eight years ago," he starts to choke up, "The one who risked her life to save you but ended up dying instead."

My eyes go wide. I open my mouth to speak, but no sound comes out. "W-what?" I finally find my voice after what seemed like an eternity.

Do you think family can be replaced just like that?

I'm most afraid of water, and the person I hate the most is a little girl.

Because of you... I have no mother now!

"If I didn't go and get ice-cream," tears start to stream down his cheeks, "I wouldn't have left her alone. I would have stopped her before she could save you. She wouldn't have died..." He shuts his eyes, willing the tears to go away - but failing. "But then again, if she didn't save you, then we wouldn't have met. I should hate you, but I can't, Kim Minrae. I really really can't. And it's killing me."

At his words, my eyes start to get watery too, and my nose sours up. This is why he ignored me when I told him, Jungkook and Hoseok about the worst thing I've ever done. This is why he was so cold to me this morning.

I don't blame him, though.

What a fucking coincidence.

"I'm sorry," I choke, my hand flying to my mouth to muffle my sobs. "I'm really, really sorry-"

"Holy," Taehyung breaks our exchange as he enters the room with a glass of water for Jimin. He almost drops the cup as he takes in the sight of his sister on his best friend's lap, both crying like three-year-old babies. "What's going on?"

I quickly scramble out of Jimin's embrace, wiping off my tears with the back of my hand. "What took you so long to get the water?" I try to change the subject, but it doesn't work on Taehyung.

"What's going on?" he repeats, looking at me, and then at Jimin, and then me again. "Is everything okay?"

Before I can reply, Jimin collapses onto the cushions, alcohol taking over his five senses.

"Geez, this kid," my brother mutters as he adjusts his band-mate's position on the couch, propping some pillows beneath his head.

"C-can you take him home?" I suddenly request Taehyung as I watch Jimin snore softly on the cushions. "Please?"

My brother glances at me, before sighing and deciding not to question further. Nodding, he scoops Jimin up onto his back, before sauntering out of the apartment without another word.

With no one in the house now, I finally let loose, collapsing onto the ground in deranged sobs.

Unnie, I'm really sorry.

How is it even possible for there to be such a big coincidence?!

This has to be some sort of twisted joke.

But sadly, it isn't.

+

i had to rewrite this chapter like so many times i swear, i spent so much time on this chapter like oh my god.

thanks for reading tho ilyall xo

:hoseokieomo

p.s. i'm really sorry this was such a bad and abrupt chapter :< i really tried though oml but it just didn't turn out good zz