Sugar Lust

Chapter Twenty

Callum came up that weekend to see the sparkling dining room wall. Millie had called him and refused to sleep until he told her when he could come. Not that he needed the bribery. He was a regular fixture in the house, always there just as promised. Emmeline relied on him a little more than she cared to admit. Since the day Nicholas died, he had been the only real man in her life—even if he was of the friend variety.

was done now, buried along with Nicholas. She wondered so often why it was him that had to go? He was so young, so much potential, whereas Emmeline always felt like she was scrambling to keep up with everything. With him gone, part of her felt like there were too many risks, complications, and fear. Besides, she always told herself, if she wanted someone to flirt with her, there was always Callum. He was constantly at the house fixing this, helping with that. Besides, he was fun to flirt with and easy on the eyes. He came up for Millie's school recitals and made Emmeline feel better whenever she was down. The best part was that he was safe. He didn't mean anything serious by his flirtation—it was just Callum—but he was a level of support that she didn't want to ever do without. She knew from that second at the funeral that he would be there, and he was, sometimes driving the two hours across the city to take Millie out for ice cream. Millie loved him almost like a dad.

It was nice to have that contact with home through him. Emmeline didn't go back very often, mostly to see her parents on holidays. Ginny had been at university in Ottawa and came to Oakville when she could. Still, between the distance and the amount of homework and other projects she had going on, sometimes it was months and months between visits. Both Ginny and Emmeline looked forward to when she would be done with school. Maybe then they'd have a bit more time to hang out, but in the meantime, Emmeline was immensely proud of everything that Ginny was accomplishing and told her so regularly.

For the most part, Emmeline's life consisted of going to work and playing with Millie, who was turning seven in a few weeks. Millie talked non-stop about her birthday, leading up to the day, and planned an elaborate night of midnight movies, popcorn, and cake with sprinkles with Pernella, Callum, and Emmeline. Emmeline had a sneaking suspicion that Millie was afraid of asking the kids in her class to come over for a party for fear that they would say no. This past year had been a hard one, in which she hadn't really bonded with the other kids as well as she had the previous year. Although Millie did really well in school, was smart, always the first to finish her work, and had an academic understanding of the world beyond her age, when it came to social skills, she sometimes floundered. She had friends she talked about from time to time, but nothing stuck for long.

It didn't matter to Emmeline if Millie had a hundred friends or none; she just wanted her kid to be happy. Whatever the reason, an all-night movie night was right up Emmeline's alley, and she was excited. It wasn't uncommon for the two of them cuddle up on the couch, munching on popcorn and debating which movie had the best plot or theme music. It was their thing.

Emmeline was busy thinking about birthday snacks at the bakery when she was stopped dead in her tracks, dropping the tray of turnovers she'd been holding. A man with steel blue eyes and a black leather jacket walked into the bakery. He was tall, with a smile that made her heart thump irregularly in her chest the moment she laid eyes on him.

Get it together, girl! she chastised herself. It wasn't the first time she'd noticed a guy since Nicholas. It was, however, the first time the wind was knocked from her chest the moment she saw one. It was startling. She wanted to crawl into a hole. Something about how he casually glanced at her seemed to awaken something inside her.

She picked up the tray and dumped the now-dusty turnovers into the garbage, hoping he didn't notice, grateful that Kathy was the one who had to deal with him at the cash register. But still, it was enough to send a barrage of not-so-innocent thoughts flooding her mind. If she was being honest, a momentary thought of, Oh please notice me, flickered through her head before being immediately dismissed.

She was relieved when he left.

A few days later, he showed up for coffee, looking better than ever.

Dammit! Why did he have to come back?

Emmeline was covered in flour and her messy bun was beyond that cute stage and firmly settling into the seriously, brush your hair stage. She blushed. She wasn't supposed to be working the counter, but Kathy had stepped out to pick her sick teen up from school, leaving Emmeline to manage the front of the bakery and make sure her cookies didn't burn in the back.

As he walked up, she quickly tried to brush off some of the flour, trying not to make it look too obvious. Annoying butterflies jumped around in her stomach, distracting her as she took his order.

"Sorry, that was sugar or no sugar?" she asked again, resisting the urge to reach across the counter and touch his hand.

"Three sugar," he said and smiled, selecting a tart off of a lacy white pedestaled plate to add to his order.

"Got it," she said and willed her cheeks not to turn any redder than she was sure they were. She made his coffee and put it on the counter, and he handed her the money. Her hand shook slightly as she gave him the change.

Emmeline felt stupid. He was just like any other person coming in, wasn't he? He wasn't paying her any special attention—until he looked up at her, lingering on her eyes for a moment longer than most. For the first time, in she didn't know how long, she felt her insides turn to mush. She didn't feel like a mom, or the baker who worked like a dog in someone else's shop or the woman who had too little sleep, but like a flash of who she used to be once upon a time.

He thanked her for the coffee and left, forgetting his tart. She ran out after him, grateful for the excuse.

"Hey, you

He turned around, confused, and then saw her. He grinned. "I've never been called a tart before."

Emmeline's cheeks burned uncontrollably.

"I only reserve that for the best clients," she said, kicking herself as she handed him his tart.

"Thanks," he said.

There was an awkward silence.

"Umm," said Emmeline, biting her lip. "I should, probably -go back." There was still a customer in the store.

"Thanks again," he said, raising up his tart.

Emmeline turned and ran the few steps back into the bakery. Her heart was pounding. She opened the door and stepped inside, briefly checking to see if he would turn around.

Oh, but why would he? she thought. Look at me, covered in flour, hair's a mess. He's so cute and... Oh my goodness, he turned around! Her heart soared. What was happening to her? Since when was she like this? But he was so cute, like, seriously hot. Tall, with broad shoulders, dressed like a freakin' rockstar, and with a grin that made you feel like you were the best thing in the world.

In a daze, she walked behind the counter. This was stupid. He said three words to her, and she had turned herself inside out. She started to thump her head on the counter. The old man trying to decide between the rye and whole grain loaves looked at her like she was an alien.

He finally decided on the rye and brought it up to the counter.

"You know," he said, "eventually, that's going to leave a mark."

Emmeline stopped thumping. She was so off in her world that she didn't realize she was still whacking her head. What had he done to her just by walking into the bakery?

"Sorry, will that be all?" she asked.

"Yep," he said, pulling out some money to pay for the loaf.

He left the shop, and Emmeline ran to take the cookies out of the oven. She took a deep breath, haphazardly took them off the hot pan, and put them on the cooling rack.

The rest of the day was a write-off. Emmeline tormented herself, chastising herself for not spending more time thinking about the possibility of romance and then yelling at herself for even thinking of the potential. She was a mother, for goodness' sake. She needed to focus on Millie. She had her chance, and he died. What was she supposed to do? Should she move on and find someone new? It was all so complicated.

Hopefully, he would never come back, and she could forget about this.