When Stars Align (Shiro x Reader)[Voltron - Legendary Defender]

XX.

"What were you THINKING?" Allura thunders. She's furious, pacing back and forth in front of you, Hunk, Keith, Lance, and Pidge. Shiro and Coran are standing to the side, both looking grim. Angry Allura is kind of terrifying.

"Do you have any idea how irresponsible--how dangerous--how stupid your little excursion was? You are paladins of Voltron. You endangered the lives of everyone on this ship--no, the lives of everyone in this universe--just so you could go to party?" She throws her hands up in disgust.

"It wasn't dangerous..." Lance mumbles defensively, "We were careful..."

"Not dangerous?" Allura shouts, voice jumping up an octave, "Not dangerous? You have no idea what spies Zarkon could have on this planet! And not only were you fraternizing with complete strangers, you were drinking! As if going to the party alone wasn't stupid enough--drinking!"

You want to melt into the ground. You know Allura is right--and everything she's saying is just making you feel more and more guilty. You're an adult; you should have known better. You did know better. But you went because you were selfish, and irresponsible, and wanted to have fun.

Glancing at the four teenagers next to you, you can see that you're not the only one feeling guilty. Hunk is sniffling like he's trying to hold back tears, Keith's face is bright red with embarrassment as he stares at his feet, and Lance is chewing on his lip and glancing around the room, unable to make eye contact. Only Pidge seems to be remaining calm.

"Do you have any idea how afraid I was when Shiro woke me up to tell me that you were all missing? We had no way of knowing what had happened to you! No note, no holo-message, nothing! I just don't understand how--"

"We get it!" Pidge bursts out, interrupting Allura's rant. The room falls silent, and everyone turns to look at the green paladin. She shuffles her feet, self-conscious now that she has everyone's attention, and continues at a more reasonable volume, "Just stop, okay? We know it was stupid. We won't do it again."

"No, I don't think you do get it." Allura says, still outraged. She crosses her arms, "This isn't a game. We're not flying around space for fun. The entire universe is counting on you--"

"Well, we didn't sign up to save the universe!" Pidge interrupts again, shouting, "Okay? I do get it, we all get it, we know that it's up to us to stop Zarkon and protect the galaxy and all that shit. But we didn't ask for that, okay? I just wanted to save my family, but I'm here, playing soldier, literally a piece of your machine. God, Allura, we're still high-schoolers! We're not supposed to be responsible for millions of lives, we're supposed to be going to school and to parties and home to our families every night, instead of god-knows-where in outer space, risking our lives every other day and not sure if we'll ever see earth again!"

Pidge finishes her rant, and the room falls silent once more. Allura looks shocked. "I..." she begins to speak, but doesn't seem to know what to say.

Finally, the princess sighs and murmurs, "I'm sorry, Pidge. You're right that this is an enormous burden, and I'm sorry that you're the ones who have to shoulder it. But...but this is to protect earth, to protect your families. And you can't just jeopardize that on a whim."

"I'm not stupid." Pidge mutters, "I know why we're doing this. I'm here, aren't I? All I'm saying is that maybe, if you didn't keep us on such a short leash, we wouldn't have had to sneak out. We train every day that we're not fighting some monster; if you'd let us have some freedom to explore or have fun--if you'd let me have time to focus on finding my family--then we wouldn't do stuff like this behind your back."

"We don't have time..." Allura begins to speak, exasperated, but Shiro takes a step forward.

"Pidge is right," he says, soothingly, "You're just kids. Everyone needs some more downtime; we're all stressed. But Allura's right, too. Stopping Zarkon is our top priority. We need to be careful, and we can't keep secrets. I'll stop pushing everyone to train so hard, and I'm sure Allura will, too," he casts a meaningful glance at the Altean princess, who looks like she wants to protest, "But in the future, I want you guys to know that you can come to us. You can tell me if there's something you want to do, or somewhere you want to go. Okay?"

After a beat, the younger paladins all nod. You watch, mesmerized by the exchange. This has been building for a while now; you've seen firsthand the incredible toll their work has taken on the paladins. It's good that they're finally discussing things--although you do wish this conversation had come about in a different way.

Once everyone has agreed--non verbally, at least--Shiro smiles. "All right," he says, "It's late. We should all go to sleep. Tomorrow we can finish getting parts and fixing the ship." After he finishes speaking, everyone begins to filter out of the room, trudging to their dormitories.

You and Shiro are the last to leave. On your way out, he catches your eye, asking softly, "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine," you smile shakily, "I don't think that I'll....feel sick again anytime soon." Shiro nods.

"You can talk to me anytime, Lyda." He tells you, meeting your eyes. His gaze is warm, concerned, open...you swallow hard.

"I know." Your voice is barely a whisper, and you do your best to dredge up a ghost of a smile as you reach your room, "Good night, Shiro."

He bids you good night, but as you climb into bed, you can't stop thinking about him. The way Shiro treated you tonight, even after finding out about the flip side of your healing, and the way he treated the younger paladins...how he was stern, but soothing; concerned, but calm. How his eyes were so soft and kind and his voice was so gentle. Even after his time as a Galran prisoner, even after Haggar's experiments, this man is still so good. So human.

You turn onto your side and feel a tear slip down your cheek. Everything about Shiro--all the time you've spent with him and around him on this ship--has made you want to be closer. You never get tired of talking to him, of seeing him smile, of just being in the same room, together. You thought that being free would make you need him less, but it seems to have had the opposite effect. And that terrifies you. Because you know that you can't get close to Shiro. You know that you aren't like him--you didn't come away from your time as a prisoner good and safe and whole. Tonight only proved that. You're dangerous, toxic. Corrupted. You couldn't even bring yourself to tell Shiro the full story, and you know that if you did, he'd probably want you off this ship.

So you won't let yourself get close. You'll keep your distance, stay away, make sure he's able to pick up the pieces of the life the Galra shattered without you there to poison it. Sure, you'll still be friends--you'll treat him just like you treat everyone else on the ship. But those deeper feelings, those emotions that you can feel bubbling just under your skin--those, you'll lock away. You'll keep them shut safely in the recesses of your heart, where you'll be able to pretend they don't exist. Because, really, you're just exaggerating. You have a strong bond with Shiro because the two of you went through so much trauma together, but it's not like you're in love with him.

Right?