Pendulum

Five

Avi was in the bathroom, and I decided to push back the curtains so that I could see what was happening outside. The sun was glorious, and the streets were busy with people. Ayodhya was a beautiful kingdom, filled with beautiful structures that boasted the intricate carvings in their rooves that resembled pagodas. Steps were painted in a soothing brick red, they led people into the Sarayu river for their daily prayers. This was the city where Lord Ram had been born in, the mythical city of the gods. Women prayed at the temples and took fasts in hopes that they would get a husband like the Lord himself, a true example of a devoted spouse in Hinduism. 

However, when I had listened to my guru explain the Ramayana, it had never occurred to me that I would want a husband like Lord Ram. After all, this was an incarnation of Lord Vishnu who had gone through an ordeal to rescue his beloved wife from the clutches of the demon Raavanan–only to force the woman he vowed to love and trust into an Agni Pariksha, a literal trial by fire to prove her virtue and loyalty to Ram during her time in captivity. It was true that Raavanan was besotted with her, but he made her a promise to never touch her, and he held his end of the bargain despite his reputation of being quite the brute.

"Remember, beti. Lord Ram loved his wife, he truly did. But he was only human, the whispers of people swayed his thoughts–they planted a seed of doubt that grew rapidly, he could hardly see straight without finding the answers to his questions," my mother had once explained when I brought my worries up. I frowned, this was not a valid excuse for him to have doubted the woman he fell in love with. 

I looked up to see my mother shake her head as a smile spread across her face. 

"I wasn't done, beti. Yes, Lord Ram went through so much for his wife, and yet lost her in the end because of his inability to put his foot down when things were assumed about Sita. Women yearn for men who would search the ends of Earth for them but fail to understand the importance of trust. Trust is essential to any relationship, platonic and otherwise. Pray for a man who will trust your words over others', but you need to trust him just the same–when you do find it, hold on to it and never let go." 

My eyes flitted across the street, watching people walk about the busy streets, some stopping by the street stalls to eat before heading for work–when I saw him. He stood in the far corner, almost hiding, his eyes fiercely fixed on me. I let the curtains fall back into place, and the room fell into darkness once again, I didn't move from my spot. Tugging the ends of one curtain, I pulled it back slowly, peeking through the material to look for that man–he was no longer there. A passerby who had taken interest in the house, perhaps.

Avi's grandmother called out from the lower floor, mentioning that someone was here for us, and I debated leaving the room without changing into something nicer. Maia stood at the bedroom door, her arms crossed, shaking her head. I squealed and ran into her arms.

"You saw me yesterday, and you're still excited?" she chuckled.

I pulled back to roll my eyes at her when Avi opened the bathroom door and stepped out, pausing to look at Maia, then me.

"Well hello, Maia."

She smiled and pulled me with her to sit on the bed. There was something different about her, she seemed over the moon about something.

"You seem pleased about something," I commented.

She nodded, taking my hand in both of hers and giving it a squeeze. "Firdaus."

"Yes?"

"I'm pregnant. You're going to be an aunt!" Maia blurted in excitement.

My eyes widened at the news she had just said. Two surprises within two days, this was not something I was looking forward to.

"You're what?" was all I could say to her.

"Pregnant," she breathed.

"How did you find out?"

"Well, I wasn't feeling too well after your wedding, and your mother had a feeling that I was pregnant – but she wanted a doctor to confirm it," she explained.

"Congratulations, Maia," Avi said, taking her hand and giving it a squeeze before letting go.

I wasn't listening to their conversation anymore because Maia had lost me at the word pregnant. My best friend, pregnant, at twenty. Did that mean my parents were expecting me to have a child the moment I turned twenty? The mental image of me standing with a swollen belly scared me to no end – and I didn't want to imagine Maia looking like that in a few months' time.

"It'll hurt, right?" I whispered.

Avi and Maia went silent. I was looking at her, and she shook her head. "It'll be worth it."

I nodded, clearing my throat before asking her if she wanted to stay with us during the pregnancy. Part of me wished she said yes (so that I could see how I would grow when I got pregnant), and the other part wished she said no (so I wouldn't have to see my best friend suffer in pain).

"I would love to, but you know how my husband's family is. I'll have to stay with them. They want to be there for everything," she sighed.

I suppressed the relief I felt, a horrible feeling.

Standing in the shower, it felt like everything was happening too fast for my comfort. I stepped out of the bathroom and bumped into Avi. He caught me – taking a good look at me before letting go. I stepped back and walked towards the vanity.

"Firdaus?"

"Yes?" I mumbled.

"Are you okay?"

I sighed and placed my hairbrush on the table, before heading for the door. I paused and nodded without turning to look at him.

"You look nice."

"Thank you."

I studied my best friend for a while, as she scooped sugar into her chamomile tea. She looked the same as she did a few months ago before she got married. But there was a certain glow she had that was a constant reminder to me that she had a baby growing inside her.

"You shouldn't drink too much tea or coffee, it isn't too good for you and the baby," a voice said from behind me.

I turned and saw Avi shooting Maia a disapproving look, and averted my eyes to the cup of tea in front of me. I hated tea. Maia squeezed my hand as she chuckled softly into my ear.

"It seems like you got yourself married to the male version of my mother-in-law," she whispered, snorting in the process.

I cracked up at her snort and we ended up giggling while Avi and his grandmother settled down with breakfast. The laughter died down after a minute, and Maia looked at me wistfully.

"I haven't heard you laugh like this in a while," she smiled.

I rolled my eyes and poked her in her arm before reaching out for the fruit juice.