Changing Fate

Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven:

I woke with a gasp, my breathing heavy and labored.  The sound of a snapping neck and the gush of blood pouring from a clawed carotid still echoed through my mind.  My body was drenched in a warm liquid.  My panic increased at the thought of being covered in someone's blood again.  Looking down at my chest, I realized it was sweat.  Despite the chill in the air, my body was saturated with perspiration. 

I tried to calm my breathing, taking deep, slow breaths.  My sweltering body was cocooned in a sea of blankets.  I sat up and kicked my legs out, trying to disentangle myself from the mass of material. 

I sighed in relief as I was able to breathe a little easier once the blankets were off of me and the chilly air was able to caress my skin, cooling it immediately. 

It had been five days since the incident and I couldn't relieve myself of the guilt I felt over taking the lives of two men.  I had been able to distract myself easily enough during the day.  The first morning I had woken up, I had been surrounded by a plethora of people.  The second day, I spent training with the Head Enforcer, Harrison Trager.  Tyler had been happy to set it up for me and Harrison had been pleased to have me join.  He certainly kept me busy.

It was, unfortunately, during the night that I couldn't distract myself.  My dreams were filled with the incident.  Sometimes, I would even get glances of people sobbing for the loss of their loved ones.  The faces were all a blur, but I could feel the grief rolling off of them in waves.  It made me sick with shame.

I shut my eyes tight, pushing the nightmare away.  I was trying to take Tyler's advice about choosing to accept what I had done without guilt, but that was easier said than done.  As much as logic told me I had done what I had to do, my morality painted a different picture.  Hopefully time would help heal this wound.

Once I had calmed myself down, I switched on the lamp on the bedside table and looked at the clock.  It was barely four AM, but I knew trying to sleep again was pointless. 

As I stood up, I finally was able to catch the lingering scent in the air.  King Finnian had been in here.

I wasn't surprised.  He had been in my room every night since was incident.  The only problem was, he only came when I was asleep.  I had only caught him that first night when I tried to attack him.  The only evidence I had been left with of his visits was his scent that clung to the air.  It was barely detectable, others wouldn't have caught it, but as his mate, his scent was stronger to me than others. 

I didn't really know how to feel about his visits.  I was so completely confused with our relationship; I didn't know what to make of it.  Half of the time, I thought that he cared, but the other half of the time it seemed he wanted nothing to do with me.  It was a conundrum for sure.

Deciding to leave the empty stillness of my room, I swung my legs off my bed and made my way to the bathroom.  I quickly got ready for a work out, not bothering to shower first since I'd just sweat again in a few minutes.  I dressed in a pair of purple Nike shorts, a sports bra, and a loose razor back tank top, along with my favorite tennis shoes.  I left my hair in the French braids it was already in.

I stopped by the kitchen on the way to the gym and grabbed a bottle of water.  I walked quietly through the halls, careful not to wake anyone since it was still early.  I didn't see a single soul in the hallways until I was out of the residential wing.  After that, I saw workers arriving for and beginning their shifts.  I sent them polite smiles when they greeted me, but didn't stop until I reached the gym. 

It was completely empty, like I expected.  I decided to start my workout with a run.  I hopped on the treadmill and turned it up high.  It was probably stupid of me not to start out slow.  I didn't exactly work out regularly.  Me and exercise never got along.  Aside from training, I had never hit up the gym like some of my family did.  I was in good fighting shape in both forms and good running shape in my wolf form, but running as a human?  Not so much.  But the exertion helped take my mind off of other things, so I pushed my body as far as it would go.