Unstable (Sequel to Twisted)

Chapter 33

Chapter Thirty Three





"I knew you weren't fine."



I had panicked when Harry started touching me in the bed. At first, I was fine; it felt so right with him, seeing his green orbs staring down at me, his fingers trying to touch me as much as he possibly could. However, as soon as I closed my eyes, I was returned to the events from last night.



And that was when I lost it.



I was taken back to when Nathan was forcing my legs apart for Perrie to see; I was taken aback to the matter of life and death, Nathan's sadistic games and expectations and his prying, cold eyes.



He was touching me.



And I started writing in Harry's grasp, and I couldn't see his face, but his fingers stopped moving completely. Now he was grasping onto my shoulders, his voice speaking to me, trying to get me back.



But I was too far gone.



Much too far.



And I lashed out instinctively, my hand meeting something solid. I froze upon the contact, opening my eyes to see I had punched Harry right in the face. And I punched him hard-that I could tell by the intense throbbing in my knuckles and the surprise look in Harry's gaze. And I thought for a moment he would snap, but he didn't.



Instead, he sighed heavily and pulled away, muttering, "I knew you weren't fine."



"I-I am fine," I replied shakily, blinking rapidly and trying to erase the image from my mind. Some memories were so easy to forget-all you had to do was not think about them. But there were memories that were going to haunt you for a while, no matter how hard you tried. Because every single time I closed my eyes, I saw my legs spread with Perrie staring at my most private parts, and I could hear Nathan's voice, telling me to spread my legs wider.



I was fine earlier, only because the shock hadn't reached me. I was finally realizing the magnitude of the situation-it was finally hitting me, taking its toll.



"No, you're not, Claire." Harry replied, running a hand through his hair. Then, quietly, he whispered, "Are you scared of me?"



He wasn't looking at me.



Why wouldn't he look at me?



"No, I'm not scared of you. Don't be ridiculous." I said quickly. "I'm just...I can't forget about what happened, but the memories will go away soon."



"I moved too fast." Harry grumbled to himself. "I should've known you weren't fine. I'm sorry, Claire."



"Harry, it's fine, really. It's my fault, actually."



Now he was looking at me, his lips in a scowl and eyes in a tight glare. "Are you fucking serious? You're actually blaming yourself?"



"Well, I should've known you were touching me, not Nathan."



"Nathan fucking touched you?" Harry snarled, getting off the bed and leaning his hands against the wall. His entire body was so tense now, his shoulders hunched. He leaned his forehead into the wall and muttered, "Tell me how he touched you, Claire."



My face grew pale from Harry's sudden change in demeanor, and I said slowly, "Well, he made me do things...but he never did things to me. He made Perrie do them."



"What?" Harry looked shocked, almost heavily disturbed as he looked at me.



I nodded feebly, feeling ashamed and disgusting. I had kissed Perrie...she had quite literally fingered me. It was such a repulsive thought; I wasn't against being a lesbian, but I had never looked at another girl in that kind of away, especially Perrie. And plus I had to do it against my will, which wasn't appealing in the slightest.



"That fucking psycho," Harry growled. "I wish I would've been the one to have killed him."



"Don't ever say that," I whispered softly. "Don't ever say that." If there was any way I could've gotten out of that situation without having to kill someone, I would've chosen that. But at the time, that was quite literally the only thing I could do. There simply was no other way.



"I need to go." Harry stated darkly, sounding rough. I knew he was right-he needed to be alone, but I didn't want to be alone right now. I wanted him with me, but before I could even protest, he hurried out of the room and slammed the door behind him, thus leaving me alone.







~~~~





I jolted awake, my body springing up in the bed, and I gasped loudly for air, my eyes wide open as I was met with nothing but darkness.



"Claire."



Harry's husky voice sounded next to me, quiet and soothing, and his hand closed around my forearm, easing me gently back into his side.



When you try your best, but you don't succeed

When you get what you want, but not what you need

When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep

Stuck in reverse



"The world is so fucked up," I gasped loudly, my voice carrying in the small room and Harry pulled me tightly against him, clutching me tightly into his clothed chest. He wore clothes...because he knew I may get uncomfortable if he didn't.



But I was right.



"No, the world isn't fucked up," Harry murmured, his lips grazing my eyebrow. "It's the people that are fucked up, Claire. It's not the world; it's the people living in it."



"Yes," My eyes were wide open, trying not to close, "you're right."



"And remember what I told you?" Harry whispered into my ear. "About having to be strong to survive in a world like this? Do you remember that, baby?" I nodded feebly. "You survived, and those memories aren't ever going to just vanish, but one day, they won't bother you anymore. I promise." His hand found mine, intertwining our fingers, and he gave me a reassuring squeeze. "Trust me; there are so many memories I'd love to forget, but I can't. The human brain doesn't function like that, unfortunately. But they don't bother me anymore."



"Is that why you kept having nightmares?"



"Yes," He whispered.



The tables have strangely turned. Just a few weeks ago, it was I who was somewhat comforting Harry when he woke from a nightmare; now it was Harry who was here with me when I had a nightmare.



And the tears come streaming down your face

When you lose something you can't replace

When you love someone, but it goes to waste

Could it be worse?



"We'll get through this," Harry whispered finally as my eyes slowly closed, my body relaxing. His larger hand was rubbing circular motions on my back, his other hand grasping my face softly. "You will get through this. I know you will."



"It's only a matter of time."





~~~~~





"Can I get a pony, Uncle Harry?"



Lottie was tugging on Harry's hand as soon as we got downstairs. It looked like everyone was awake, even Zayn, who was actually sitting with Gemma at the kitchen table, his back to me. I wondered what his face looked like; I knew he had to have some bruises from how harshly he was interrogated by Harry.



"A pony for what?" Harry asked.



"For my birthday! Please? I want a white pony!" Lottie pouted up at Harry and he simply reached down to pick her up, her arms circling around his neck in doing so.



"We'll see," He replied, chuckling under his breath at Lottie's excitement.



Eleanor was actually making breakfast in the kitchen, along with Louis who had his arms wrapped around her from behind, whispering something into her ear cheekily. She looked at complete ease now; it was safe to say that she didn't have to do nearly as much as I had to do, although what she went through was just as terrible, if not worse because she said she was pregnant.



Wait.



Was she pregnant?



Liam, Perrie, and Niall were talking loudly from the hallway, and it looked like they just got back in from the outside. Perrie still had bruises, of course, but she looked a lot better-she wasn't as robotic or emotionless. However, I did notice how Niall stepped a bit too close, laughing about something and not thinking about it, but Perrie's smile did falter and she withdrew away from the blonde.



The atmosphere was light and cheerful; the sunlight was streaming through the window over the sink, and Lottie started giggling behind me at something Harry had said.



"Claire," Eleanor called when she noticed me, "want some pancakes?" Louis waved at me when he noticed me, too, stepping out of the way so Eleanor could hand me a plate with two pancakes on it. "The syrup and butter are on the table," She added.



"Thank you," I made my way to the table and sat at the table, with Zayn to my left and Gemma to my right.



"Good morning, Claire," Gemma greeted me with a smile. "How're you feeling?"



"Much better," I replied, pouring the thick syrup over my pancakes. God, I was hungry. I didn't realize how hungry I was until I saw the pancakes.



And that was when I saw Zayn's face.



God, his face was as bad as Perrie's, if not worse. He even had a black eye outlining his right eye. However, what shocked me most was when he met my eye and gave me a faint yet significant smile.



He has never smiled at me before. Like, an actual smile. He's given me those creepy smirks before, but never a genuine smile. So I felt stunned for a moment before his dark eyes glanced back down at his nearly empty plate, his fork picking up another piece of pancakes before eating it.



"Eleanor makes amazing pancakes, doesn't she?" Gemma asked, looking at Zayn. She was extremely comfortable around him, that I noticed instantly.



"She does." Zayn agreed casually, and then his lips stretched into another smile, his eyes staring at Gemma. "I think I may actually want seconds."



"I'm terrible at cooking," Gemma replied. "My mother was always such a great cook, and she loved doing it. I guess that trait didn't pass down to me." She chuckled a little and pulled her bangs from her eyes. "Harry, can you sit Lottie down and get her to eat?"



"Sure," Harry replied from behind us.



"It's so difficult getting Lottie to eat sometimes." Gemma muttered, although she smiled fondly. "Lottie always wants to be moving, you know?"



"That's how my sister was." Zayn grumbled, and I couldn't help but stare at him as I chewed on my pancakes. What was wrong with him? Why was he acting so...normal?



"Guys-I have an announcement to make!" Louis said suddenly, his face entirely serious and solemn. My stomach dropped from the look in his eyes, even though I saw Zayn grin to himself out of the corner of my eye. Louis was standing, waiting for everyone to get silent. The last person to quiet down was Niall, who had been previously chuckling. When everyone was silent, Louis said slowly, "In a few months, I'm going to be a father."



And like that, he was beaming at us, his eyes alit with happiness, excitement evident in his features. He looked so much younger, so much more boyish when he said this. And Eleanor was smiling shyly behind him, her arms crossed unconsciously over her chest, her brown eyes staring at Louis in adoration.



However, everyone was silent. All except for Lottie, who was sipping on her sippy cup, oblivious to the magnitude of Louis' statement.



"Hello?" Louis said louder, chuckling. "Didn't you hear me? I'm going to be a father! El's pregnant!"



And that was when everyone started clapping. I started it, and Gemma followed, and soon, we were all clapping. It was hard not to share Louis' enthusiasm about the whole situation, especially when he looked so happy. Some men were furious and upset when they heard their girlfriend was pregnant, but Louis was having a much more positive attitude with it. I guess he really did want a baby, which shocked me because he never seemed the type.



But I guess people can surprise you.



Even Harry looked happy for his best mate; he even stepped forward and clasped Louis' shoulder in a manly yet respectable gesture, his face alit with a wide, dimpled grin.



And for a moment, his green eyes flickered to me, his grin never faltering or fading.



A lot of the boys stepped up to congratulate Louis, and Louis looked so prideful of the fact, so confident. And Eleanor got back to cooking the pancakes, still smiling from her boyfriend's joyous outburst.



"Can I talk to you?" Harry was suddenly leaning over to me, his lips in front of my ear. He sounded serious now, which made me instantly slightly nervous.



Was something wrong?



"Yeah," I replied, dropping my fork on the plate. I followed Harry out the back door; the sky was a bright blue color without a single cloud in the sky. It was, in short, a gorgeous day, the air fresh and clean.



It's over.



It's finally all over.



"What's wrong?" I asked Harry as he stood in front of me. His face was still serious, and he didn't speak for a few moments until he grasped onto my hand, holding it carefully in his much larger hand, bringing his deep, green eyes to peer into mine.



"Marry me."



Huh?



"What?" I asked, without thinking, not even blinking at him. Did I mishear him? I saw his lips move, but...I had to have hallucinated something.



But Harry only grew more determined and said, "Marry me, Claire."



My mouth fell open a little, my hand freezing in his, and for a moment, I didn't know what to say. This was definitely unexpected-a huge surprise, and I was quite literally stunned beyond comprehension.



"Are you serious?" I whispered.



"Yes, I'm completely serious." Harry replied, his eyebrows furrowing together in slight irritation. "Are you going to answer or not?"



He was nervous, I realized. That was why he was irritated-he was nervous. He didn't know if I was going to agree or not. I could see his nervousness written plainly in his eyes, even though he tried to hide it.



"Well, hold on a moment," I replied, pulling my hand out of his and crossing my arms over my chest to narrow my eyes. "You didn't even ask properly."



"What?"



"You don't know how to propose to someone?" Was he serious?



"All I have to do is fucking ask you to marry me." Harry looked confused, giving me a strange look. "What else is there to do?"



"Well, for one, you didn't even ask me. And two, you're supposed to get down on one knee and properly ask me." I replied, raising an eyebrow.



"Why the hell would I have to get on my knee?"



I threw my hands up in frustration, "I don't know! But it's tradition, Harry! I can't believe you don't know this."



"Do I really have to get on my knee?" Harry asked, obviously not pleased by the idea.



I paused, "Well, I'm not marrying you until you ask me properly." Giving him a slightly peeved look, I brushed past him and walked back into the house. I didn't know why that angered me; I guess it was just the fact that for once, Harry could've been romantic about it, and instead, he made it incredibly awkward.



Why did he even want to marry me in the first place? He didn't seem like the kind of guy who cared about marriage at all.



I came back into the kitchen and had sat down, about to eat more pancakes until I noticed Harry getting down on his knee in front of me. I hadn't even heard him following me, and my cheeks flushed in deep scarlet when I saw him kneeling in front of me.



He waited for everyone to get silent, and everyone grew immediately silent, even Lottie, when they saw what Harry was doing.



"Claire Manson," Harry said, quietly at first before clearing his throat. It was obvious he had no idea what he was doing, yet he was doing it anyway with a determined glint in his eyes as he stared up at me. It was so strange to see him lower than me; normally I was the one looking up at him, not the other way around.



And he was silent for a few moments, trying to think of something-anything-to say before he said, "It would make me the happiest man on this planet if you agreed to marry me." He reached out to gently grab my hand, cradling it in his own, and somehow, he produced a ring, an actual ring, and slid it slowly, uncertainly, on my index finger, which made me giggle a little to myself because that wasn't the ring finger, but I decided not to embarrass him in front of everyone's close watch.



The ring was gorgeous; it was simple, yet it gleamed under the lighting, and it had a pure white stone right in the middle with a lovely design all around it. I knew instantly it was expensive, and I couldn't help but wonder when Harry purchases this. How long has he planned this?



But for some reason, the sight of the ring made me tear up. I...I didn't know how I felt, especially now that the silence had grown tense, and Harry had an almost desperate look to his eyes, as if begging me not to reject him, especially in front of everyone.



Never in my entire life did I think Harry would ever propose to me. Never. I was speechless, yet I was elated, weightless, like I was flying.



I simply nodded my head, a smile breaking across my face-a breathless, giddy smile, and leaned down to wrap my arms tightly around Harry's neck and embrace him tightly. I buried my face in the crook of his neck, giggling out loud, uttering yes, over and over. I didn't know what else to say other than that one word, and suddenly, yes became my favorite word.



I could feel everyone shock; they didn't know how to react at first. But when I looked from the corner of my eye, I saw Zayn was the first one to start clapping, and he clapped confidently; he wasn't grinning, but he looked like he fully agreed with what happened, and everyone started clapping after he did.



And for some reason, I don't think I had ever been this happy when Harry kissed me after that, feeling him beam into the kiss. I felt like anything could happen right now, and it couldn't dampen this day.



"Thank you," He whispered, looking so genuinely thankful that I agreed, "thank you so much, Claire." And his lips beamed again as he pecked my lips one more time, murmuring, "My beautiful fiancé."