Chapter 3
Nicola was staring at both of them from her window seat as they clambered onto the tour bus. Nadine was sat next to her and was talking animatedly on the phone and Sarah was already asleep, sprawled across one of the dancers who surprisingly enough was also asleep. Kimberley guided Cheryl to sit in the available window seat across the aisle from Nicola and Nadine, and pulled the curtain across before settling down next to her. The last thing they needed were camera flashes, you never know what they might make of the fact that Cheryl had dark glasses on after midnight, they usually wrote what they wanted anyway, based on no fact whatsoever.
Kimberley’s thoughts turned to the bombshell Cheryl had dropped earlier. How long would it take to make front page? Is that why he’d told her – because he knew it would be in the papers tomorrow? Or maybe he’d told her a while ago and she’d been keeping it to herself. Kimberley wasn’t sure what hurt her more – that her friend had been betrayed again, or that she’d been keeping something from her. “How f*cking selfish am I?” she thought. “Here I am thinking about myself again when I need to be looking after her”. But she really couldn’t bear to think that Cheryl had kept something from her.
Nicola’s voice broke her thoughts “psst”. Kimberley turned to look at where the whisper had come from and saw Nicola staring at her. Without making a sound she started mouthing words at Kimberley and then looking at Cheryl who by this point was sat facing the front with her earphones in, but Nadine was sat right next to Nicola, still talking on the phone. Kimberley frowned at her. “What’s up with her?” whispered Nicola across the aisle. “Ssssh, leave it,” Kimberley whispered back. “Hormones, she got all teary when she heard everyone chanting her name. But she’s in a nark now so just leave her”.
Nicola took her gaze off Kimberley and looked suspiciously at Cheryl who was still just sat facing straight ahead, listening to her ipod. Nicola looked back at Kimberley, “She looks narked, is it you she’s p!ssed off at? What did you do?” Kimberley smiled as she realised how easy it was for Nicola to believe that Cheryl was in a bad mood. “Something of nothing, you know what she’s like. Didn’t you wanna read that magazine I finished?” Nicola nodded and held out her hand across the aisle, realising Kimberley wasn’t really in the mood for talking. Kimberley fished into her handbag and pulled out the magazine she’d finished that afternoon on the tour bus and passed it to Nicola who smiled and settled back into her seat by the window.
Kimberley turned to look at Cheryl who by this point had turned to face the window, even though the curtain was still drawn. Kimberley went to put her hand on Cheryl’s thigh, to get her attention, but stopped herself and put her hand on her own leg. Why were things so strained suddenly? For the last 7 years the two girls had grown closer and closer, spending more time in each other’s company than with the other three girls. They shared private jokes, unintentionally, because it was natural, given the time they spent together. They told each other everything, absolutely everything. Or did they? Because Kimberley still didn’t know the full story about Ashley’s latest little fling, and more importantly, she hadn’t dared tell Cheryl about the way she’d been feeling towards her. Most of the time she laughed it off as just part of their close friendship but right now she couldn’t even bear to touch her friend for fear of how it might make her feel. Surely that wasn’t normal for a friend to feel like that? Maybe Cheryl needed a bit of affection right now, she certainly must have needed it before.
Kimberley thought back to the way Cheryl had kissed her in the dressing room, her lips so soft, it had been different to the first time - neither of them was drunk this time - yet it had lasted even longer. Why had Cheryl suddenly kissed her now, just as Kimberley was started to get really confused by her own feelings towards her friend? She wondered what kind of conversation they’d have back at the hotel, or if Cheryl would even want to talk. What if she got upset again? Kimberley would have to touch her – comfort her, hold her. She wasn’t sure that was a good idea right now, not with the confused state she was in. But she didn’t have to worry anymore as Cheryl suddenly turned toward her in her seat.
