SAFETY PIN || AFI

Cuts and scars

I fall asleep to them screaming and fighting again, it's beginning to be too much to handle.

I started cutting when I was 13, I know, it's young. My parents aren't happy together, and it's making me depressed. They take their arguments out on me, my dad was gone in prison for half of my life because of his drinking.

My mom screams at me all day and orders me around like a voodoo doll. (a/n hehe) I get up from the toilet seat and walk over to the sink and open a drawer that holds my blade. I let salty tears stream down my face, and I sob as quietly as I can. I glide the cold, metal, and sharp blade across my wrists, and watch blood creep up from under the broken skin.

I go to my thighs and swipe them across my legs as many times as a tear falls from my golden brown eyes. 1, 2, 3, and 4. I add some extra cuts to try and let the pain that is inside of me get out with the cold, dark red blood. I'm like a mirror, once you break it it's always broken, no matter how you try and fix it.

My parents don't know about my depression, I once told my mom that I wanted to kill myself, but she didn't do anything about it. She doesn't care. No one does. They get close to you, they learn all your fears, secrets, weaknesses, and they leave.

My brother saw my cuts, he acted like he cared. But deep down, I know he doesn't. I let the blood ooze out of my thighs and wrists into the sink. I start talking off my clothes and I start the shower.

I love water, and rain. You can cry all you want but no one will know. They won't see how broken I am, how ripped apart I am. I have been this way for 9 years. That makes me 18 now. I can't afford to move out or go to college. Not like my parents care though. Nobody knows about my depression other than my best friend, Madilyn, or Mads.

She's my other half, my sister. I love her to death, she helps me through everything, my breakdowns, my heartbreaks, my anger issues, and anxiety, just everything. And I couldn't thank her enough. I love her so much and she has been with me through these fucked up 5 years.

I quickly wash my hair and body, and slip out of the shower. I wrap a towel around my exposed body and walk out of the bathroom into my room. I open my closet door and slip on a black jumper and light-washed boyfriend jeans.

I was thinking of heading out of the house to get away from the arguing and go to the park. It's fall so it's going to be chilly. I put on my black Vans and put in my headphones. Safety Pin by 5sos plays, I softly sing to it as I walk out of the house towards the park, it's 5 pm and my curfew is 9 pm.

As I'm walking I admire the nature, the beautiful Daisies, and roses that gather around the trees. I look up in the tree and notice a boy with curly brown hair is sitting in it writing in a book.

I don't think anything of it and continue my walk to the park, I watch the cars speed by and my long brown hair blows in the wind. Runaways by All Time Low starts playing. I walk past the library, and think of all the bad memories from there.

I quickly walk past to avoid any more memories. Those memories are part of what broke me. I used to go there to meet up with my ex all the time. But he broke up with my 3 years ago, I was 15. He played me, I sent him things I shouldn't have, he was 17.

I should've known, I guess I'm into boys that like to make and break. He helped with my depression for a while, but then he slowly became a part of it

My phone dings and I look at the message from my mother.///

Mom: where did you go

Me: just the park, is that okay?

Mom: yeah sure whatever be home by 9

Me: I know.     ///

I arrive at the park and make my way to the swings. They look so lonely, no one ever uses them anymore, most of them are tangled, covered in bird poop, or broken. Just like me. I'm nothing but garbage, once they get their use out of me they throw me away.

I've gotten used to it these past years. I learned not to let anyone in, to shut them out. They never cared anyway. I decide that I'm going to sit on one tangled, it reminds me of my hair. I don't care to brush it since it gets untangled when I shower.

I take out my headphones and look at my surroundings, there's nobody except me at the playground. I remember the boy that was in the tree and he reminded me of someone but I can't put my finger on it.

Someone walks onto the playground and sits in the slide, it's the curly-haired boy. I notice that he's crying as he starts writing in his notebook again. The tears come to a stop, and before I know it he's coming towards me.

He looks like someone but I don't know who, then it hits me. He's Ashton Irwin.
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A/N
CLIFFHANGERRRRRR I LIKE IT SO FAR COMMENT AND RATE AND SHIT and I need a Internet best friend by the way!