Explanations

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"Bella, dear. Are you okay?" Esme asks me, and tears begin to stream down my cheeks.

If I remember, if I remember Nik and Rebekah and Kol and Mikael and Esther and Elijah and Finn, then that means...

The person who made me forget is dead.

I double over in my space on the floor and cry out because of my pain over Finn's death. Carlisle and Esme exchange an alarmed glance. "No," I finally whimper in a feeble attempt to answer Esme's question. "No, I'm not okay."

"Bella, please tell us what's the matter!" Carlisle pleads, but more tears make their way from my eyes as I look up at them both.

"Finn's dead," I whisper. They have been so kind to me; I can't lie to them now. "He's dead."

"What?" Carlisle and Esme ask in unison. I steady my breathing and stand up, making my way towards my phone.

I pick it up and just stare at it. My intent had been to call Edward, but there is a nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach telling me that to call Edward would be wrong, stupid, and...

Unfaithful?

I can only assume it seems unfaithful to Nik. He was always there for me, even when his brother was compelling me to forget them all all those centuries ago, I watched him from the corner of my teary eyes. I watched as Nik watched me, trying to brand every one of my features to his memory, so if he ever came across me again, then he would make me remember, and we would live the rest of our vampric existences together.

More memories come back, and I remember Finn telling me to forget everything when he compelled me. The idiot made forget I'm a vampire; I can't hold back a laugh at that. Carlisle and Esme look at me strangely.

I can't remember how I came to be with Charlie and Renee, but I know I compelled them by accident to give me a home, and to not worry about the fact that I don't age. Then of course they divorced, and I went to Arizona for a while. But of course I had to leave when people realised I wasn't aging. I had only been in Forks for a month before Charlie and Renee split, so no one recognised me.

Except Charlie, of course.

Then I met the Cullens, and I remember how I was attacked by James, and puzzled over why I didn't use my strength or speed. Probably because I wasn't aware of it.

Then with my birthday party. I could have defended myself, but I didn't. Afterwards they left, and I remember how I went months and months feeling void of all emotion.

Probably because I had unknowingly turned my emotions off.

Then somehow the mutt got me to turn them back on. Even if I hate the dog now becauee of what he is, I do owe him one. If I had remembered with my emotions off I probably would've slaughtered the entire town.

For some reason I laugh at that too, but it gets stuck in my throat. Only then do I realise I'm crying again. I sink to the floor, and Carlisle and Esme rush over to me.

"Bella, please tell us what's happening!" Carlisle pleads again.

I sigh; I cannot lie to them. They have been too kind. I swallow back my tears. "Well don't freak out..."

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