Hold You Like I'm Going To Lose You (Septiplier)

Everything's Fine...

I'm either gonna be missing for awhile cause I'll be cut off from WiFi or I'll be here and be able to update stuff/post new stories because I'll have WiFi all the time again, but both is a possibility so idk man.

The mundane schedule that had overtaken Mark's house was broken a week and a half in.

The first odd thing that happened was the fact Mark was nowhere to be found.

Jack awoke slowly, to find that his bed was empty. He groaned as he sat up, stretching and glancing around him quizzically.

During the time he was there at Mark's house, he'd never woken up alone. He stood, slowly making his way to the other room.

There was still no sign of Mark as he looked, before his attention was drawn to the doorbell ringing.

He waddled toward the door, hands splayed across the cream colored wood as he looked out the peephole.

Ryan and Matt were standing there, which Jack found odd. Hadn't they already left town...?

With shaky hands, Jack opened the door for them.

"Jack! You've been inside for awhile, right? Why don't you come with me and we can hang out somewhere?" Matt immediately offered, though the smile on his face seemed slightly forced.

Jack frowned, rushing his fingers through the mop of green that was fading and growing on his head... "I... I guess I could probably get my hair trimmed an' re-dyed..."

"Alright. I'll take you to a hair- Um..." Matt had answered, before he cut himself off as Ryan brushed past Jack into the house.

"Uh... H-Hey, what's th' matter...?" Jack asked, confused. None of this made sense, and part of him wondered if he was dreaming...

"Nothing. Just go with Matt, ok?" Ryan suggested, serious... Too serious.

Jack felt uneasy, wondering where Mark was again... "M-Mark's not... I didn't find him..."

"I know. Please, just listen to what I'm saying..."

'I know.'

The words rang in Jack's head, causing worry to ground into his core. What did that mean, he knew? How...? More importantly...

"W-Where is he...?"

"Jack... Come on, get your shoes on." Matt spoke, in a way that made Jack feel sick.

He wasn't a fucking child...

But there wasn't much he could do besides listen, slipping on his sneakers and thanking god he'd already changed into day clothes.

The day felt choked up as Jack went through the motions, letting Matt drag him to the hair dresser, then to an ice cream shop and finally to the park.

Jack stared down at the floor, finally throwing away the disposable ice cream bowl and keeping the spoon close.

He had a feeling it was going to be a reminder of this day. Jack wondered if he'd even want to remember it.

"You ok?"

Jack glanced up at the question, shrugging loosely. He didn't feel ok. He felt afraid. He felt slightly miserable.

Matt frowned, opening his mouth to say something, before he was cut off by his phone making a noise.

Jack ignored him as he looked at the text, taking out his own phone. He still hadn't spoken with Mark all day, and it left a cold pit at the bottom of his stomach.

He guessed the day hadn't been bad, but... God, he didn't know what he was going to do when he had to go back to Ireland.

Jack couldn't stay in LA forever... but he wasn't sure if he actually wanted to leave... he didn't want to be alone.

Self-hatred pooled slowly around his core as he thought about one of the big reasons he didn't want to leave.

His love for Mark...

Jack mentally berated himself for it, glaring down at the ants scuttling around on the floor. It wasn't fair.

Jack was ugly, stupid, and a slut, just as Ace had said...

Even after Ace was out of his life, Jack still...

"Come on, Jack. I'll take you back to Mark's house."

Jack let Matt tug him out of the park and towards the car, wondering if he'd finally be able to see Mark again.

Damn his thoughts... Jack felt like even more of a slut at how excited he felt at the thought of seeing Mark.

----

Mark tugged at his sleeves tiredly, sighing a bit and mumbling an apology.

Ryan stared at him for the longest time, before looking away. "Look, Mark, if you need help, you just have to say so..."

"I... I'm fine. I promise. It's been over half a year since the last time, I-I'm obviously better."

Ryan was about to answer when the door opened.

"Mark!"

Jack's eyes lit up in a way Mark hadn't seen in a long time, letting Jack rush forward and hug him tightly.

A grunt escaped the American, before he hugged back, relishing in the warmth the hug brought him.

Mark wanted to say sorry.

He couldn't, however, voice already shutting off as tears sprung in his eyes. Pathetic.

Mark honestly just felt pathetic, trembling in Jack's arms from barely contained sobs.

"Mark...? Are you ok?"

"Y-Yeah... I'm f- fine..."

Jack stayed silent, just holding onto the bigger man tightly. "... I... I love you..." He mumbled nearly inaudibly.

It still seemed to calm Mark down, however...

Jack smiled, relaxing as well.

It wasn't long before Matt and Ryan said that they were leaving and going to stay at a hotel.

"You can stay here. Hell, Jack and I basically stay in the same bed each night and the couch is a pull out bed so there are two beds."

Jack helped a small bit in bringing Ryan and Matt's stuff into the house, even though whenever he tried to help someone would quickly take over whatever he was doing.

Jack huffed a bit, before he straightened and crossed his arms. "I'm goin' ta record."

Mark's features immediately brightened, thankfully. Jack didn't like this image of an unhappy Mark...

"Alright, you remember where my recording room is?"

"Yeah." Jack answered, going over to the room that Mark had pointed out as the recording room.

Jack sort of missed having an upstairs.

Not that Mark's house wasn't big itself, but it was more spread out than Jack's, whose house went up instead of out.

Jack set up the system and logged onto his Steam, before buying one of the games people had suggested. A small smile twitched onto his lips, eyes brightening. This Is The Police, huh?

True excitement took over him as he got ready to record the game, eyes sparkling.

Jack shoved the worry he'd been feeling during the day into the back of his mind as he performed his intro and went on a small tangent about how he was finally back for good and that he'd upload an actual vlog some point soon.

He felt... truly happy, finally.

Jack's smile grew wider. It felt wonderful.

He definitely missed this.