Don't make your character a robot!
I recently read a summer reading book called Walk Two Moons by Sharon Creech, and in my opinion, it sucked.
Girl finds out she's moving? no reaction.
Girl's sister dies? oh well.
Girl's mother dies? okay.
Girl's grandmother dies? that's life.
Because of this robot named Sal, I didn't enjoy the book as much as I wanted to. It wasn't gripping, it wasn't exciting, it was boring.
Show some emotion in everything, but add extra emotion to things your character feels strongly about.
bad ex) Mike looked at the dead bodies of his friends and walked down the street, eyeing his diceased co workers.
Good ex) Mike looked at the dead bodies of his friends. He felt his face heat up and tears form in the corners of his eyes. He continued down the street, eyeing his coworkers with a smirk. Who was the idiot now?
